Re: Cover Letter Help!

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Oops! Forgot one important thing- In the first sentence,
substitute "any" for "the". That way, your letter can be kept on
file for future positions.

On 3/07/10, Old Teach wrote:
> OK- First of all, I have been on many hiring committees and
> read hundreds of applications, so I feel confident in
> commenting on yours. The suggestions I have made here are not
> criticisms, but only serve to make your letter better. When
> writing a cover letter, remember, KISS- Keep It Simple,
> Stupid!" In other words, this is a cover letter, not the
> application itself or your resume.
>>
>> March 5, 2009
>>
>> To Whom It May Concern,
>>
>> I am very interested in applying for the elementary
>> teaching position within the Matthews County School system.
>> I have recently obtained a Vermont teaching license from
>> Saint Michael’s College and am in the process of completing
>> my M.ed. in elementary education with a reading
>> concentration. I have also started the process to obtain my
>> Virginia elementary teaching license by June 2010 so I can
>> teach in my home state.
>
> 1. Substitute "in" for "within". 2. You did not obtain a
> teaching license from a college. You obtained it from the
> State of Vermont. Say that, followed by something like, "I
> received my BS in Elementary Education ( or whatever your
> degree was) from St, Michael's College in _____, Vermont. I
> am currently enrolled in an M.Ed program at that same
> institution, with a concentration in Reading. 3. Instead of
> that part about Virginia, which is a bit confusing, say, "I am
> in the process of obtaining my teaching certification in the
> State of Virginia, as it is my desire to return to my home
> state. I expect to have that certification by June, 2010."
>>
>> I am a teacher because I am passionate about helping
>> students become life long learners. This past fall I had the
>> opportunity to illustrate this passion when I interned in a
>> multiage 3rd/4th grade classroom at Allen Brook Elementary
>> in Williston, VT. During this experience I was able to use
>> my strong academic background in education, and creative
>> talents to develop an integrated standards based social
>> studies and literacy unit and other lessons that engaged
>> students in hands on learning. I particularly chose to focus
>> on using maniplatives, art and technology in any lesson I
>> could to accommodate the multiple intelligences of all my
>> students.
>
> 1. Strike "I am" for "I became". 2. You don't "illustrate" a
> passion. This whole sentence seems a bit , well, egotistical.
> Instead, "I had the opportunity to intern in..." 3. Leave
> out the word "academic".
>
>
>>
>> I am very interested in a position in your school district
>> because I feel I can provide students with a learning
>> experience that is meaningful to their lives. I believe I
>> can create a learning environment that can achieve this by
>> the enthusiasm I illustrate for being a teacher and the
>> genuine interest I take in each individual student. In
>> addition, by also using responsive classroom methods and
>> making the commitment to seeking out any resource that will
>> help me fulfill each student’s needs and my creative
>> approach to innovative lessons that engage all learners.
>
> 1. Again, "meaningful to their lives" is a bit over the top.
> Instead, say, "meaningful learning experiences". 2. You want
> to tell your prospective school system what you can offer them
> but you also want them to feel that they are a potentially
> good employer for you. In the beginning of the paragraph,
> after "because", say something like, " I have heard many
> positive things about your district and feel i would be a good
> fit there."Then stick with the rest of your paragraph.
>
>
>
>> Please refer to the completed application I have enclosed
>> that includes my resume and references. I look forward to
>> meeting with you at your earliest convenience to discuss how
>> I can make a positive contribution as a teacher within the
>> Matthews County School system. Thank you in advance for your
>> time and consideration.
>
>
>>
>> Sincerely,
>>
>>
>>
>> Mary E. Simpson
> Best of luck!
 

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