Betty Dotson-Lewis

Posted on 10/05/09

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My Retirement Package
I apologize to all my senior affiliates that I cannot pick
them up in my Jeep because it is filled with baby seats.

I was invited to a cookout Saturday night to the home of
friends who now live in this area from my hometown in rural
West Virginia.
Of course I had to take "the children" because their
parents are in Raleigh at a U2 concert.
Well, Will nearly talked my ear off all the way mostly
about transformers (a boy's toy that transforms into a car
then robot) and every vehicle on the road – a transformer
is patterned off that & he knows each one He will suddenly
yell, “Trouble ahead, there is “bone crusher” referring to
a bulldozer or road scraper, etc.
He knows each one and I nearly know each one.
I had to get gas which was in the opposite direction of our
trip – that caused major confusion
We stop at Food Lion and pick up a chocolate cake and
blueberry pie as our contribution to the cookout
On the way down he said, “You know as soon as we get home
from the cookout I am going to eat a sandwich. I am
starving” I told him that was what a cookout is all
about. Will is a 1st grader.
Anna was in rare form. She is 22 mos. now. It was mostly
adults there. Some I knew and would have loved to talk
to. Will kept saying he was starving and when would we eat
right in front of the host and hostess where were busting
their butts to get everything ready and take care of guests.
Anna had a confrontation with another little girl
immediately. The other little girl had a doll stroller and
fluffy dog and cash register. Anna only took her baby doll
and book.
The little girl started screaming and crying when Anna
grabbed her stroller and took off with it. It took 2 of us
to pry the stroller out of Anna’s hands. The little girl
got it and let go for a minute and Anna took it again.
This time the little girl tried to bite Anna. I think they
had a wardrobe clash. Anna had on flared boot cut blue
jeans with a tank top and hippie style over shirt and a
band around her head. The little girl had her hair styled
and had on a shirtwaist dress.
I carried Anna around but she would get scramble down and
crawl on her belly across the floor and out of the kitchen
into the back porch and then start dancing.
She managed to get a hold of John's (the home owner's)
prize West Virginia coalminer Bear. I had a real struggle
getting that back and when I did I put it high up on a
shelf. She kept looking at it like she knew she could
scale those shelves
We finally got dinner so Anna and I sat at the table with
some local nice women. Anna on my lap. The women were
talking about living in Saudi Arabia, etc. Nice
intellectual adult material. Anna decides to feed me -
she does it with her hands picking up beans in a meatsauce
and trying to put it in my mouth but it mainly ends up on
my nose.
In the meantime someone has fixed Will a plate of food
which he is enjoying - hotdogs and hamburger. Barbie has
him on the back porch with a tray out of the way Anna
spots the special arrangement and starts yelling, "Mine,
mine" and tries to make Will get up. Grabs his red cup
which contains coke and ice and dips her potato chip in it
leaving part of the chip behind. That was the only thing
she ate.
I finally break that up and Anna locates the little girl's
stroller again hidden behind the couch. I try to get her
away from it and end up crawling around on the floor
between people's legs. She then locates the remote control
for the tv. We are on the back porch and a couple
expecting their first child any moment it seems is taking
all this in. She holds the remote in both hands and starts
counting 1,2, 3 Barney, Barney, Barney, Barney, Barney,
Barney. The guy commented on that he thinks she is very
smart knowing a remote controls the tv. I told him, “she
operates a computer as well”
Finally, while Anna is in one of her backbends and I'm
holding her, I tell Barbie and John that I am going home,
Will hears me and announces he is not going home until he
gets another hot dog.
Will eats another hotdog and we head for the door - Anna
waves at every single person and says bye and blows kisses
to the clock on the wall, the wooden duck, etc.
Will speaks up, where's our chocolate cake. I want my
chocolate cake.
I get them in my Jeep and safely home with lots of hugs and
kisses for me.
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