Re: At what point can a teacher say she's being harassed?

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Two words of advice: document everything!

I'm going through a very difficult year, but with a co-teacher. I
learned quickly to document conversations, save emails, save copies of
work, etc. If you haven't already, start a folder and document
everything. Sometimes, when it's your word against his, documentation
is all you can rely on. Good luck!

(P.S. On an earlier post you mentioned that the fourth grade teachers
will "eat this kid alive". That might very well be the wake-up this
parent needs! I just hope you don't teach in NJ...so I don't have to
worry about getting this crazy parent. hahaha)

On 4/05/09, Teach wrote:
> Do not meet with him alone! Require him to set up an appointment
> once a week with the principal, psychologist, counselor, etc. I
> like one post that said to refer him to your website. Also, I like
> the suggestion that you send a memo to all parents announcing your
> procedures for turning in homework, classwork, deadlines for makeup
> work, etc. Send those out and have them posted in your room. Refer
> to those when he talks to you.
>
> Get caller ID or and I know this might be a hassle but change your
> phone number. This guy is Harrasing you! Talk to your union. Your
> principal should do more for you. Your principal needs to meet with
> you and this man and set some boundaries for him. These need to be
> typed out and signed. He should only come at a specified time.
>
> I agree that after three late pickups you should cancel the
> tutoring. You are doing everything you can for this child. It is on
> the boy's father to get the boy help. What does your special ed
> department say about this boy? Has he ever been tested? If the
> father refuses help then your hands are somewhat tied.
>
> The principal needs to get the father off your back. I disagree
> with Concerned. This could turn into a volatile situation. Please
> be careful. If you have a union I would call them and talk to them
> about this. It may be close to the end of the year but all kinds of
> things could happen. Does he have a temper? Yes, enough is enough.
> When you inform the father of your procedures he should have a lot
> of answers. That should take care of a lot.
>
> For disorganized kids I have written on a card the procedure for
> the end of the day. Ex. gathering materials, putting them in
> homework folder, going to mailboxes, writing down assignments, etc.
> They just have to look at the card and make sure they've completed
> each step. I also initial their assignment sheet inidcating that
> this is the correct assignment due. The parent then initial the
> assignment that night when the assignment is completed.
>
> Be careful. Talk to your principal about that boundary issue. Get
> on paper what this parent can and can not do.
>
> Good luck
>
>
>
>
> On 3/13/09, by OP wrote:
>> Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I truly appreciate
>> it.
>>
>> Regarding getting work home, every week a folder goes home with
>> all their work. This is both classwork, tests, anything that
>> they turn into me. I've started collecting this child's work,
>> putting in a sealed envelope, putting in his bookbag. Then, a
>> couple of days later dad is all over me asking where the work
>> is...so I investigate and it's in his other desk (he has a
>> different teacher in the afternoon), opened, and papers all
>> throughout the desk. I gather it all again, put in a new
>> envelope, call boy over while I'm emailing/calling dad, a couple
>> of days later, same thing (his other teacher has even tried to
>> help with this). At some point I can no longer babysit this kid
>> since I have 25 other students that require attention. I've
>> tried and tried to help this child be organized by doing,
>> showing, helping and I truly think he's doing all of this so he
>> doesn't have to hear from dad.
>>
>> Regarding being in our rooms when we're not there, it is not
>> allowed at our school for several reasons. Mainly safety due to
>> the area we're in and thefts that have been occuring. We have
>> now been asked to lock our doors whenever we leave so that has
>> cut down on his going in. The assistant and principal know how
>> demanding this man is so they no longer allow him in the room.
>> Not because he's looking in his child's desk but going to the
>> back of the room and going through other kid's work, folders, etc.
>>
>> When this dad isn't in my room he's emailing or calling.
>> Literally I talk to him once every single day. Honestly, I don't
>> have time to talk to him every time he calls/drops by/emails his
>> 20 questions. And regarding his questions, everything he's
>> asking is either on my website, in our newsletter, or on papers
>> that don't get home. This child's missing work, I write it on a
>> sheet of paper and give to him, tell him he has until Friday to
>> get it done, remind him ALL WEEK, and it still isn't turned in.
>> So when he gets a zero dad flies all over me.
>>
>> The tutoring was set up for kids who need extra help in math
>> and/or reading. Mainly it was set up for this child since his
>> dad has said numerous times I'm "not doing enough" for his child.
>>
>> And how did he get my number? NO clue especially since the phone
>> is listed in my husband's name. I guess he called every number
>> until he got us...he's that crazy.
>>
>> My principal knows everything, has been involved in several of
>> our conferences, I copy her on every email I send to him now, and
>> I'm always talking to her about the situation. Whatever she says
>> to do, I do. She has dealt with this man for 3 years and know
>> how demanding he is.
>>
>> I've done everything this man has asked and more and still he
>> demands more and more. The help he wants me to give his son I
>> cannot (he literally wants me to sit beside his child and work
>> every problem with him). The type of help he needs should come
>> from our EC department (I've done numerous interventions with
>> him - I could write a book on what I've done for this ONE
>> child). And I agree the dad is probably so scared/frustrated
>> especially since our end of grade is quickly approaching and his
>> son has made little to no progress. However, Dad has turned down
>> any offer of evaluation, even though every standarized test shows
>> that he has a learning disability. At this point I feel like I'm
>> doing more harm to this child by continuing to enable him. The
>> 4th grade teachers will eat this child alive next year...

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