Courtesy learninglaffs.com

YENDOR’s Top Ten

Top Ten Things Not To Say While Being Interviewed for a Teaching Job

10. Got a light?

9. I see no problems. Just throw out the coloring sheets everyday.

8. I quit school in eight grade. Is that going to be a problem?

7. How would I encourage kids to learn? Well, have you seen my belt?

6. What would I do with a gifted student who was a discipline problem? AGAIN, have you seen my belt?

5. What will I be doing in five years? Probably trying to get out of the classroom just like you did.

4. How would I present a new word to the class? Well...that would be according to just how hard I stubbed my toe.

3. Interviewer: "Do you consider yourself a good listener?"
   Me: "I'm sorry?"

2. My philosophy? Hell, just make it through the $@+#+#U*@! day till I can get home to the bottle!

And the number one thing NOT to say during a job interview:

1. Great legs, baby!

When my daughter was four we told her we were having a Super Bowl party. We got snacks and drinks and my husband was watching the game. My daughter asked when the Super Bowl started and I told her it already started. She responded, "Oh great, we're going to miss it because Daddy is watching the football game!" That was 15 years ago and we still tease her about it.

The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students came up and took over. "Your hard drive crashed," he said.

I called the computer services office and explained, "My computer is down. The hard drive crashed."

"We can't just send people down on your say-so. How do you know that's the problem?"

"A student told me," I answered.

"We'll send someone over right away."

A student tore into our school office. "My iPod was stolen!" she cried .I handed her a form, and she filled it out, answering everything, even those questions intended for the principal. Under "Disposition" she wrote, "I'm really ticked off."

My best friend has a set of twin boys. They are very, very smart, and were on our 4th grade academic team as 3rd graders. One of the questions during a meet was a state and capital. None of the 4th graders on either team knew the answer, but one of the twins buzzed in and got it correct. Thanks to his correct answer, our team won.

After the match, we asked him how he knew the answer, as third grade doesn't learn state and capitals. He grinned and said, "It is because I can't be quiet." He had a little "girlfriend" in his class, and they loved to talk. Finally, his teacher moved him completely across the room from her. He couldn't talk to her and none of the other kids would talk to him because they didn't want to get in trouble. When he finished his work, he would sit and study the big map of the United States on the wall beside his desk. He quickly learned all the states and capitals, and where every state is located. He said, "Well, Mom, I guess my big mouth finally paid off." :)

In kindergarten this week, we have been talking about winter. Monday, I read the kids a non-fiction book about animals in winter and introduced the kids to vocabulary like "hibernation," "migration," and "burrow."

There is a place in the book that shows a woodchuck's burrow. The kids were very interested in the tunnels, bathroom chamber, and sleeping chamber. We discussed how many burrowing animals will have more than one entrance to fool predators. After discussing the book, we did a "directed drawing" of a woodchuck's burrow. We labeled parts and then some of the kids asked if they could color the drawings.

I reminded the children that this was a "science" drawing, so accuracy in color is important. The kids decided that brown was probably going to be the predominant color, since the picture of the burrow was under a winter landscape. Some children put green on a few trees and colored the hibernating woodchuck with tan and brown colored pencils.

I walked around the room, giving feedback. I stopped short when I saw McKenna, one of my most competent students and a very good listener, using a pink crayon inside the woodchuck's sleeping chamber. She was carefully coloring the outline of the chamber.

"McKenna," I said, "what's this? Is the sleeping chamber PINK?"

McKenna looked up and me and smiled.

"No. It's brown. And has grass."

"Well... what is the pink crayon for?" I asked.

She continued coloring and replied, "Wallpaper."

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