Top Ten Signs You Are At a Bad Faculty Meeting

10. You were given Xanax at the door.

9. The door prize is a framed photo of the principal's mother.

8. Principal announces a one hour admission.

7. Vice Principal is crying before meeting starts.

6. You see paramedics waiting expectantly in the corner.

5. All the teachers took the day off except you.

4. Principal tells you what a great staff you are and it's not even the first day of school.

3. First item on the agenda: Are pay checks really necessary?

2. You forgot about the meeting and took Ex-Lax an hour before.

And the number one sign that this going to be a baaaad faculty meeting is:

1. The Principal is wearing pajamas.

Funnies from the Kindergarten Chatboard

Posted by MarshaB
During the election we had a student who said he was going to vote for "Rock Obama!"

Posted by Me
Too funny...we had one that wanted to vote for Rock Yourmama!

Posted by Ak
I chuckled when my student referred to him as Rockin Bama.

You Never Know What Will Come Out of the Mouths of Kinders

Posted by Cath
As kindergarten teachers I thought you'd appreciate this one. Our kids are just so darn cute! We were on the bus with all the primary students from my school going to the wave pool today. I was sitting with one of my cute little girls. She was just full of questions today!

Child - What are those rings on your hands for?
Me – One’s my wedding ring and the other my husband gave me for our anniversary
Child – Ohhh, what's a versary?
Me - It's like a birthday but instead of celebrating the day you were born you celebrate the day you got married.
Child – You’re married???
Me - Yes I am
Child - Does your mom know?
Me - Yes she knows
Child - Did she give you permission?
Me - Yes she gave me permission
Child - Well what's your husband's name?
Me - Mr. E
Child - Wow you guys even have the same name!

Posted by paws
My husband has come into class a few times so they recognize him. Last time he popped in and a child said, " teacher your dad is here again!" Is he bringing you YOUR backpack now too?"

Posted by here's another good laugh
We were working on ornaments for the kids’ parents today and I put out the pictures of everyone that I had taken and told each child to pick up his/her picture. One little guy brought his picture over to me and asked, "Is this me?"

Posted by two more to share
We are in program improvement and had a big wig come around and look at rooms. One of my really quirky kids who is just darling said to her, "I am going to read you a book" and turned to the computer, popped on his headphones, and started the wiggle works story for himself and was totally oblivious to her and what she said. She thought it was great (luckily!).

And the other day as we were acting out a story, I was pausing a lot trying to get my kids on the rug to help me retell the story for the actors, when one of my little girls said, "Teacher you better get out the book because I think you've forgotten the story!" They are just so cute!

Posted by barb
I sent home a note asking for parents to come in and help with some craft projects. A little boy told me the next day that his mama didn't have time to write me back, but she said for him to tell me that she would be there at 1:00 to help with the "c r a p s." LOL

Posted by Kinderjane/SC :-)
Here's mine- A child suggested we sing 'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer'. I told him I don't really like that song. He asked why. I told him it is because my grandmother died on Christmas Eve. He looked at me with big eyes and asked sincerely, "Did she get run over by a reindeer?"

Posted by Heidi
We were watching one of my HeidiSongs Sing and Spell DVD's as the kids were coming in before school one morning. A parent wandered over and complimented me on the DVD. I explained that "my husband is the computer wizard, or I wouldn't be able to create anything like that." A little boy's eyes got really big and he said, "Your husband's a WIZARD??????"

Posted by Joz/LA.
Yesterday was our last day before the holiday break. I woke up hoarse. By the end of the day, there was little voice left. Right before leaving, one of the kids asked "Did you change your language?"

From the Science Teachers Mailring

A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.' Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?' The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'

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