Depression and suicide in the gifted community

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Depression and suicide in the gifted community

by Oldtimer

Nov 11, 2010

Once upon a time I was a reg poster here on this board. This was a topic we touched on often. Some great in depth research and discussions went on between parents and teachers back then as we all had that one thing in common, To support the social and emotional needs of these children.

The few reponses I did read here on this very serious thread surprised and shocked me such as this one.

I know that, particularly with gifted kids, much of it is > self-induced, but I still believe much of that is relative to > parental and societal expectations

Could be any of the above or maybe none of the above. You have barely touched the tip of the iceberg.That is why it is our duty as parents/caregivers teachers to get to the root of the problem. As a team as it would be a difficult task to go it alone.

As we all know knowledge is power. Educate yourselves . There is tons of info on line .Check out SENG and Hoagies for starters. There is a wealth of info th...See More

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Bill T 6 nc Old timer, your words are not harsh at all.

Only today I was counseling one of my gifted girls about being overly stressed, about worrying over things beyond her control. I don't know how much of an effect I've had.

I know that some here view me as the cruel task master. I am not. I simply want my students, all of them, to rise ...See More

Nov 12, 2010

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Jo On 11/11/10, Oldtimer wrote: > > Once upon a time I was a reg poster here on this > board. This was a topic we touched on often. Some great > in depth research and discussions went on between parents > and teachers back then as we all had that one thing in > common, To support the social and emotional needs of these > children....See MoreOn 11/11/10, Oldtimer wrote: > > Once upon a time I was a reg poster here on this > board. This was a topic we touched on often. Some great > in depth research and discussions went on between parents > and teachers back then as we all had that one thing in > common, To support the social and emotional needs of these > children. > > The few reponses I did read here on this very serious > thread surprised and shocked me such as this one. > > I know that, particularly with gifted kids, much of it is >> self-induced, but I still believe much of that is > relative to >> parental and societal expectations > > Could be any of the above or maybe none of the above. > You have barely touched the tip of the iceberg.That is why > it is our duty as parents/caregivers teachers to get to > the root of the problem. As a team as it would be a > difficult task to go it alone. > > As we all know knowledge is power. Educate yourselves . > There is tons of info on line .Check out SENG and Hoagies > for starters. There is a wealth of info there.Much more > now than when we were doing our research. Then come back > and discuss the things you find. Help each other help the > children. Stop pointing the fingers of blame and leave > egos out of it . It is a useless waste of time and energy. > > I am sorry if I sound a bit harsh. It is not my > intention. This is my passion because I know depression > can be helped and suicide can be prevented. There is > nothing so sad and heartbreaking to see that spark slowly > fade from a bright child's eyes. Anyone familiar with the > gifted knows the spark to which I am referring. > > Oh, and don't forget to take good care of yourselves > as you continue on this journey. These children need you!

I'm going to see Race to Nowhere soon. I'm looking forward to it. The pressures of society have become so great. There really is no room for mistakes - even for the brightest. Often school is more about procedures for these kids than learning. The learning part is the easy part and the hoops they are made to jump through become the stumbling blocks. Often I see a big problem for gifted kids is that the education can be more of instead of more complex. More homework doesn't show the difference between a gifted student and a non-gifted student. There is nothing that sucks the spark away than an environment that fosters compliance over learning.

The other issue is gifted kids with LDs. There are many kids that are intellectually gifted with a disability as well. Intellectually they have the ability to soar but their disability makes it harder to reach that level whether it be dyslexia, adhd, dysgraphia, etc. These kids know they are intelligent but the whole system works against them because it demands sameness or even development. Often they get far without the problems being noticed becaues their giftedness masks the disability so when they do start to stumble they are labelled as lazy and unmotivated. I've seen a few of these kids and it is heartbreaking because often they just don't know how to fix the problem and no one wants to believe there is a problem other than behaviorally. Thus, depression sets in.

Thanks for bringing up this subject. It does need to be addressed.

Nov 12, 2010

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Oldtimer On 11/12/10, Jo wrote: > On 11/11/10, Oldtimer wrote: >> >> Once upon a time I was a reg poster here on this >> board. This was a topic we touched on often. Some great >> in depth research and discussions went on between parents >> and teachers back then as we all had that one thing in >> common, To support th...See MoreOn 11/12/10, Jo wrote: > On 11/11/10, Oldtimer wrote: >> >> Once upon a time I was a reg poster here on this >> board. This was a topic we touched on often. Some great >> in depth research and discussions went on between parents >> and teachers back then as we all had that one thing in >> common, To support the social and emotional needs of these >> children. >> >> The few reponses I did read here on this very serious >> thread surprised and shocked me such as this one. >> >> I know that, particularly with gifted kids, much of it is >>> self-induced, but I still believe much of that is >> relative to >>> parental and societal expectations >> >> Could be any of the above or maybe none of the above. >> You have barely touched the tip of the iceberg.That is why >> it is our duty as parents/caregivers teachers to get to >> the root of the problem. As a team as it would be a >> difficult task to go it alone. >> >> As we all know knowledge is power. Educate yourselves . >> There is tons of info on line .Check out SENG and Hoagies >> for starters. There is a wealth of info there.Much more >> now than when we were doing our research. Then come back >> and discuss the things you find. Help each other help the >> children. Stop pointing the fingers of blame and leave >> egos out of it . It is a useless waste of time and energy. >> >> I am sorry if I sound a bit harsh. It is not my >> intention. This is my passion because I know depression >> can be helped and suicide can be prevented. There is >> nothing so sad and heartbreaking to see that spark slowly >> fade from a bright child's eyes. Anyone familiar with the >> gifted knows the spark to which I am referring. >> >> Oh, and don't forget to take good care of yourselves >> as you continue on this journey. These children need you! > > I'm going to see Race to Nowhere soon. I'm looking forward > to it. The pressures of society have become so great. There > really is no room for mistakes - even for the brightest. > Often school is more about procedures for these kids than > learning. The learning part is the easy part and the hoops > they are made to jump through become the stumbling blocks. > Often I see a big problem for gifted kids is that the > education can be more of instead of more complex. More > homework doesn't show the difference between a gifted student > and a non-gifted student. There is nothing that sucks the > spark away than an environment that fosters compliance over > learning. > > The other issue is gifted kids with LDs. There are many kids > that are intellectually gifted with a disability as well. > Intellectually they have the ability to soar but their > disability makes it harder to reach that level whether it be > dyslexia, adhd, dysgraphia, etc. These kids know they are > intelligent but the whole system works against them because > it demands sameness or even development. Often they get far > without the problems being noticed becaues their giftedness > masks the disability so when they do start to stumble they > are labelled as lazy and unmotivated. I've seen a few of > these kids and it is heartbreaking because often they just > don't know how to fix the problem and no one wants to believe > there is a problem other than behaviorally. Thus, depression > sets in. > > Thanks for bringing up this subject. It does need to be > addressed. > > And thank you, Jo, for responding and offering your opinions. You are absolutely right about our 2E children . Then you throw in the odd quirks and the good old out of sync behavior. These are the children most at risk. Imagine a child highly gifted in writing and language having dysgraphia. It is much more common than one would think, especially in our boys. We did a survey and if I remember correctly I shared the results here. Over one third of the respondents agree most of our gifted writers were dealing with some sort of ld in the mechanics of writing. Perfectionism in some. The type of tool they were forced to write with in others. When I first came across dysgraphia there were no computers in the classrooms. Scribes were assigned to these bright children and in many cases this helped tremendously. It was such a pleasure to see one child in particular beginning to lose the spark then soar to the top of his class and beyond with his writing skills . The pressure of not having to actually deal with the nechanics of writing . Thanks to a wonderful teacher that took an interest in this child and worked with the team.

The learning part is the easy part and the hoops > they are made to jump through become the stumbling blocks. > Often I see a big problem for gifted kids is that the > education can be more of instead of more complex. More > homework doesn't show the difference between a gifted student > and a non-gifted student. There is nothing that sucks the > spark away than an environment that fosters compliance over > learning.

Absolutely absolutely agree here. The learning part is easy and these children are well aware of this. They can see right through the farce and fanfare. And that is so sad when the rage and passion to learn is squelched right out of them. It happens as early as primary grades in some cases. Imagine a child of four coming home and telling his parents he is no longer returning to school because he is being put in a circle with other children and forced to read baby books day after day. He was eons ahead of his peers in reading and thought he was being punished.

Maybe when you see Race you can come back and share your thoughts here. You are wise and I also sense experiences in such matters . I like to think I also have a little wisdom in this area as I certainly have the experience.

Please, if anyone else has experience or resourses they would like to share it would be appreciated. As you have probably already quessed I am an advocate for gifted children.

Take care!

Nov 12, 2010

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Oldtimer On 11/12/10, Bill T 6 nc wrote: > > > Old timer, your words are not harsh at all. > > Only today I was counseling one of my gifted girls about being > overly stressed, about worrying over things beyond her > control. I don't know how much of an effect I've had. > > I know that some here view me as the cruel task master. I...See MoreOn 11/12/10, Bill T 6 nc wrote: > > > Old timer, your words are not harsh at all. > > Only today I was counseling one of my gifted girls about being > overly stressed, about worrying over things beyond her > control. I don't know how much of an effect I've had. > > I know that some here view me as the cruel task master. I am > not. I simply want my students, all of them, to rise to the > highest ability level. What I also want them to do (both they > and their parents) is that setbacks are not the end, that if > one falls, they get up and go on. > > So many of our gifteds are fearful of taking chances or not > measuring up. Gracious, they're only 11.... > > Yes, I do push them, tell them to do their very best, but I > don't bash them when they stumble

Bill, thank you for your kind response.

Yours is a very difficult job. Of that there is no doubt. I admire you for taking on this challenge of teaching these special children. Good teachers are very rare and to have so many of them in one place such as here is even rarer.

Having said that there are also parents of these children that are more concerned with the social and emotional needs of their children than academics.

At the risk again of sounding harsh this is not really about your wants or needs Or really about the parents wants or needs. We are the adults. It is up to us to listen , I mean really listen to what the children are saying and let them take the lead once in a while. After all it is ''their'' education and they have every right to have a say in how and what they are being taught.

A sense of humor is very important. A surefire way to get these children on side and work with you is laughter. It also releives a great deal of stress for teacher and children.

Back yrs ago while doing research on gifted I came across the gifted child's bill of rights. Yes there is such a thing. I posted in in my kitchen as a daily reminder and also a guideline as I had no rulebook.:) I will try to google and find a copy.

I thank you for bringing this all important sensitive topic up for discussion.

Nov 12, 2010

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