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Bullying Chatboard

Dear teachers

by Sarah D

Oct 11, 2016

Dear K-12 teachers,

While you are understandably busy trying to insure that each student can pass the multitude of standardized tests they are faced with each year, this often forces you to turn your back on a much bigger issue plaguing our schools. I’m writing today to address the issue of bullying in our K-12 schools and the negative psychological impact that it has on your students and their futures. I am calling for you to become more aware of the signs and symptoms, and to do more in your classrooms to prevent and stop this behavior. And in particular, I want to address the over proportional bullying of queer children in our schools. The culture of bullying is so tightly woven into the thread of academia that we can no longer say that the bullies are just ‘bad children’ and that their victims are ‘helpless but good.’ To take sides fails to recognize that the bullying culture that we allow through our silence influences how children interact with each other. Inde...See MoreDear K-12 teachers,

While you are understandably busy trying to insure that each student can pass the multitude of standardized tests they are faced with each year, this often forces you to turn your back on a much bigger issue plaguing our schools. I’m writing today to address the issue of bullying in our K-12 schools and the negative psychological impact that it has on your students and their futures. I am calling for you to become more aware of the signs and symptoms, and to do more in your classrooms to prevent and stop this behavior. And in particular, I want to address the over proportional bullying of queer children in our schools. The culture of bullying is so tightly woven into the thread of academia that we can no longer say that the bullies are just ‘bad children’ and that their victims are ‘helpless but good.’ To take sides fails to recognize that the bullying culture that we allow through our silence influences how children interact with each other. Indeed, there were times in my life where I was targeted for being ‘different’ and there were times in my life that I would have just as easily been labeled the bully. Both of these experiences were harmful to the positive community that I know you try so hard to create in your classrooms. But a rapid increase in technology in the past decade has only made it easier for children to anonymously target others, while making it harder for teachers to put an end to it.

I first experienced bullying my first year in school. My best friend, a stranger at the time, was caught cheating on her eye exam, as she didn’t want glasses but needed them, and was told to sit in a corner by our teacher as punishment. Unfortunately, that experience wasn’t the end of her embarrassment, as students continued to tease her in the following weeks, calling her names like ‘four eyes’ and ‘windows.’ These names were damaging to her self confidence; I came to understand as I got to know her that these taunts became deeply rooted in her identity and how she perceived herself to be. By the third grade, I too was frequently teased by my friends and peers for my academic achievements, to the point where my teacher sent me to the counselor to make sure that I was okay. When I insisted that I was, she let me go without ever checking in on me again, and without questioning whether or not a 9-year-old is capable of acknowledging whether or not they are okay. When I was in the fifth grade, we had a new girl in our school named Chandee. She had spent her whole life traveling around the country, as that is what her father’s job entailed, and all of the students in our class took an instant liking to her. Everyone except my friend and I, who were uncomfortable with her newfound popularity and the damage it caused to our precious established social order. And in order to lower her self confidence, we created a fake e-mail account and would send her messages telling her that she was ugly and deserved to have no friends. She never responded, and the more unfazed by it she was, the more frustrated we got, and the more we wanted to see her unhappy. When I hit middle school, I was one of the first to go through puberty and was therefore constantly taunted for my leg, arm, and armpit hair. I remember one instance particularly well, when a male peer announced loudly to our band class that I was so hairy that I had more hair than him, a boy; I remember distinctly how it felt for the entire class to laugh along. I became self conscious about how I looked, and I begged my mom to buy me a razor to shave it all off. Wanting to dress more stereotypically masculine, I was made fun of for not putting my hair down or wearing dresses. I was constantly called a guy, and when I was coming to terms with my identity as a gay person in late middle school, I became terrified that I was just providing more ammo to be laughed at. I felt dejected, unhappy, and perhaps most sad of all, these ‘jokes’ made me feel worthless and unlovable.

My experiences were in no way abnormal, and being from a very liberal Seattle suburb, my experiences of intolerance were only a fraction of what other LGBT students experience every day. In fact, although one out of four students in general report being bullied in the last year, nine out of ten LGBT+ teens reported experiencing bullying based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. This is significant, as students who reported being frequently harassed because of their sexual orientation had a GPA that was half a letter grader lower on average2. Further, LGBT+ students are twice as likely to report not planning to graduate high school and not planning to attend college than their heterosexual peers2. Both of these statistics are indicators of the negative impact that being bullied has on academics, and how a learning environment that allows for bullying does to give all students an equal chance at success. Bullying is defined as the repeated psychological or physical harassment of a person who is less powerful than the bully. Since being queer is a minority, queer students often do not fit into the normative culture, leaving them less popular than other students. This creates a power dynamic between them and their ‘more powerful’ peers and leaves them vulnerable for torment from the majority. As teachers, it is your responsibility to be informed of the warning signs that a student is being bullied, in order to put an end to it. Some common signs include unexplainable injuries, loss of property (e.g., clothing or books), frequent faking of an illness causing school absences, difficulty sleeping, sudden decline in academic performance, sudden loss of friends, and self-destructive behaviors. There are also indications that a child may be bullying another child: one who views violence positively, has difficulty following rules, and is having issues in their home. Children are in school for the majority of the day, which puts you in the best position to notice these behaviors, especially changes in academic performance, friend groups, absences, and moods.

It is clear that we need to have more conversations with children about what behaviors we will absolutely not tolerate in our schools. Since bullying often goes unreported, as one study found that only 36&37; of bullying cases are reported1, teachers first and foremost need to encourage students to speak to a teacher if they are being bullied or see other students being bullied. We need to teach students how to be active bystanders, who can successfully intervene in a situation if they feel safe to do so. And lastly, every school needs a Gay Straight Alliance, where LGBT+ students can openly discuss these issues, find support, and act to fight against it. We talk a lot about how the suicide rate in LGBT+ youth is extraordinarily high; in fact, it is 8.4 times higher than their heterosexual peers2. This phenomenon is largely due to low self esteem and worthlessness caused by frequent harassment, the majority of which occurs in the same school hallways that you walk through every morning, with a head full of lesson plans and the overwhelming belief that every student deserves an equal chance to be successful. If you are idly sitting by and letting bullying occur in your classroom, please know that you are part of the problem. Please know that there are ways to fix it.

Sincerely, a concerned LGBT+ member, college student, and future K-12 teacher

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