Parent Teacher conflict

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First Grade Teachers Chatboard

Parent Teacher conflict

by Jackie

Dec 4, 2011

Hi my name is Jackie and I am in my first year of Schooling for Early Childhood Development. I am trying to get a feel for conferences and conflict between teachers and parents. So if you have a story that you might share with me I would greatly appreciate it.

I am wondering if there is any teacher out there who could share with me a conflict they might have had with a parent? How did you try to solve the issue? Has there ever been an issue that you couldn't solve?

I have to role play a conference for a final as a teacher and I'm super nervous about that. I can only imagine what the real deal might feel like.

I'm a parent and have been to a few conferences of my own but I feel as the parent it is a lot easier for me because I don't have to have an agenda on how my child is doing or reports on where they might be prospering and or needing a little more guidance and help in other areas.

I hope that as a teacher I can try to be positive in all aspects...See More

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A parent and a teacher The idea of the conference should be a dialog between the parent and the teacher, though that isn't always how it is in real life. Generally, the conference isn't first hint of a conflict because if there is one, the parent has let you know long before the conference that you two don't see eye to eye. LOL

A good approach is to send home a...See MoreThe idea of the conference should be a dialog between the parent and the teacher, though that isn't always how it is in real life. Generally, the conference isn't first hint of a conflict because if there is one, the parent has let you know long before the conference that you two don't see eye to eye. LOL

A good approach is to send home a questionnaire before the conference to find out if the parent has any questions or concerns that they would like addressed at the conference. This will give you a head's up to potential conflicts or concerns and you will be prepared with answers to their questions. I also like to make a sheet for each child listing his strengths, weaknesses, and any questions or concerns that I have. It helps keep me on track and remember everything that I need to talk about. I also can make any notes on the paper because after 23 conferences, they all start to run together!

Usually the parent is much more nervous than the teacher, especially if they haven't seen the report card, because they are worried that their child might not be doing well, behaving, making friends, etc. Start out with a positive statement (Johnny is a hard worker), and follow it up with something specific (he has learned all of the sight words so far). Then show them samples of his work that they might not have seen - tests, writing, etc. Showing the work is a good way to address in any concerns that you have (he seems to know the answers but his work is messy and hard to read), and suggest things that they can work on or review at home. Be sure to address the concerns or questions that they had on their questionnaire. Let them know how much you look forward to Johnny's growth and end with asking them if they have any questions or concerns.

If you think the conference might be volatile (and they can be) be sure to inform your admin. ahead of time and ask if they want to sit in. If you are concerned for your safety or anything like that, insist that they be present for the conference.

On 12/04/11, Jackie wrote: > Hi my name is Jackie and I am in my first year of Schooling > for Early Childhood Development. > I am trying to get a feel for conferences and conflict > between teachers and parents. So if you have a story that > you might share with me I would greatly appreciate it. > > I am wondering if there is any teacher out there who could > share with me a conflict they might have had with a parent? > How did you try to solve the issue? > Has there ever been an issue that you couldn't solve? > > I have to role play a conference for a final as a teacher > and I'm super nervous about that. I can only imagine what > the real deal might feel like. > > I'm a parent and have been to a few conferences of my own > but I feel as the parent it is a lot easier for me because I > don't have to have an agenda on how my child is doing or > reports on where they might be prospering and or needing a > little more guidance and help in other areas. > > I hope that as a teacher I can try to be positive in all > aspects and keep my cool. I know what is like to be a parent > and hear the positive and negatives of things and although > it may be hard to be on the other end I hope that my > experience of being a parent will help me greatly along with > my schooling. >

Dec 4, 2011

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Sara On 12/04/11, Jackie wrote:

Do you think pediatricians are nervous every single time they examine a patient? Pediatricians most often see their patients with a parent in the room. I don't know that anyone could survive years of pediatric practice if they were nervous every time they had a parent conference and if you think about it, every ...See MoreOn 12/04/11, Jackie wrote:

Do you think pediatricians are nervous every single time they examine a patient? Pediatricians most often see their patients with a parent in the room. I don't know that anyone could survive years of pediatric practice if they were nervous every time they had a parent conference and if you think about it, every patient visit for a pediatrician is a parent conference at the same time.

So why do parent conferences make teachers nervous?? Are you a shy person? Parent conferences are a part of the job and you're not alone - at my school on Parents' Night, my dear colleagues wish each other "Good Luck!" as if they're about to face the vandal hordes and everybody's nervous.

Maybe it's me but I came to like parent conferences. I teach in a charter school where families have chosen to put their child rather than be assigned the school by virtue of where they live. Families expect something more of a charter school and I like that. I like seeing happy families and happy students and I like being a part of such an endeavor.

Our school is Pre K -12 and we don't give grades in Pre-K through 4th grade. In 5th grade we start to grade and that's a very nervous year for parents. I liked teaching 5th grade because in that grade you can really help parents to feel comfortable - you're needed in 5th grade if you're a person who likes to talk with parents.

What you need to do in your role play is be a good listener - don't embrace a "I have to win" mentality which is what too many teachers do embrace. What do the parents want? Listen and compromise but most important - adopt a problem-solving approach. Too many teachers are told their job is just to point out the problem(s).

and there is a difference between a conference that you requested and a conference that a parent requested - if your professor didn't tell you which one of those you're role-playing, it's only more clear that your professor has never had a parent conference.

It should be a requirement of all education professors that they've actually taught in a primary or secondary classroom... then they might know what they're talking about.

> Hi my name is Jackie and I am in my first year of Schooling > for Early Childhood Development. > I am trying to get a feel for conferences and conflict > between teachers and parents. So if you have a story that > you might share with me I would greatly appreciate it. > > I am wondering if there is any teacher out there who could > share with me a conflict they might have had with a parent? > How did you try to solve the issue? > Has there ever been an issue that you couldn't solve? > > I have to role play a conference for a final as a teacher > and I'm super nervous about that. I can only imagine what > the real deal might feel like. > > I'm a parent and have been to a few conferences of my own > but I feel as the parent it is a lot easier for me because I > don't have to have an agenda on how my child is doing or > reports on where they might be prospering and or needing a > little more guidance and help in other areas. > > I hope that as a teacher I can try to be positive in all > aspects and keep my cool. I know what is like to be a parent > and hear the positive and negatives of things and although > it may be hard to be on the other end I hope that my > experience of being a parent will help me greatly along with > my schooling. >

Dec 5, 2011

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