A teacher put the following very dry and funny comment on my son Richard's school report 20 years ago when he was 12 (Richard was always covered in ink blots and so was his work):
"Richard seems to have difficulty coming to terms with a fountain pen. In this unequal contest, the pen is always the victor".
Sadly Richard died of the effects of drugs when he was 24, but I can still find humour in the wonderful use of words in this very ascerbic teacher's comment.
In my senior history class (in 1993) we learned about impeachement; none of us knew anything about how it worked at all. At least Ken Starr gave us all a history lesson :)
My freshman year of college, we had a debate in class about whether talk shows (like Oprah) degraded or exploited people, were too sensationalistic, caused people to do anything to get on t.v. etc. Someone mentioned the "reality" show "The Real World", and only about half of us (19 years olds) had seen the show. We knew MTV as a station that had music on it :).
I couldn't watch the news when I got home from school/work.. I had to wait until 5. If I missed it at 5 or 6, I had to wait until 10-- if that was too late, I missed it. Somehow I survived :). Also: if my newspaper got thrown out before I saw it, I couldn't read the paper that day unless I could borrow a copy.
I found shows like The Cosby Show had enough plot to keep me interested. Now I watch the reruns and they seem almost as quaint as Leave It To Beaver. Is this because now that I'm 30 I'm no longer as concerned about the problems of the teens on the show, or is it because I'm now used to shows like Desperate Housewifes or Law and Order? Discuss amongst yourselves :).
Roseanne was the most contraversial show on t.v. and Ozzie Osbourne was a has been rocker from my parents generation
In a class freshman year someone said "The only war we know is the minor Gulf war.." and we all nodded in agreement. Is that war going to be renamed Gulf War I :)?
Liberals called themselves "liberals" (that's not an attack on liberals; I'm a proud Democrat)
What we now call "camis" were 2 things-- pajama tops (for the white cotton ones) or lingerie.
My list of things to have ready when I needed to leave in the morning did not include "cell phone".
I was friends with my neighbors, but not someone living in South Africa that I met online.
You had to do something another than be willing to eat bugs to get to be on t.v. and be famous
I could not define any of the following words: E-mail E-anything (E-commerce, e-banking, e-trading)Download Blog/blogger instant message/IM internet chat room (Is that like a break room? :) website (is that where there's a spider web that keeps re- appearing? :) online (is that like "are you on board with this project? :) text message HDTV reality show-- is that a show where a real person gets a makeover :)? reality show whore (she's an actual whore, not just an imposter who wears slutty clothes :) crank (probably some kind of tool :) "urban" problems Bushism (but I did know "Qualyism" :) Al-Queida Uzbeckastan (pardon my spelling) Fox news recharge my cell phone See how much smarter I've gotten in about 7 years :)?
The following words had different meanings: In Box: an actual box of things to do, filled with actual papers :) Paris Hilton: a nice hotel in France spam: a cheap but disgusting lunch meat flame: what a large fire created White Water: water found in the Colorado river Travelgate: the gate you go to to get on your plane, bus, etc. 9/11: the number you call in an emergency
I am getting old, aren't I :? When I get distressed about the state of the world, I remember this difference: When I was in high school students wrote and acted out orginal plays. One featured two guy roommates who seemed to be lunatics-- I thought the play was about insanity. A friend finally explained to me that they were gay and in a relationship but not only could they not kiss, cuddle, hold hands or make any reference at all to being "more than friends" they couldn't say "gay". This script had been through about 8 editings (and now made no sense) and the students involved never complained because they knew they couldn't do anything about it.
On 5/01/05, 30 year old.. wrote: > I don't feel "old" but I remember when.. > > In my senior history class (in 1993) we learned about > impeachement; none of us knew anything about how it worked > at all. At least Ken Starr gave us all a history lesson :) > > My freshman year of college, we had a debate in class > about whether talk shows (like Oprah) degraded or > exploited people, were too sensationalistic, caused people > to do anything to get on t.v. etc. Someone mentioned > the "reality" show "The Real World", and only about half > of us (19 years olds) had seen the show. We knew MTV as a > station that had music on it :). > > I couldn't watch the news when I got home from > school/work.. I had to wait until 5. If I missed it at 5 > or 6, I had to wait until 10-- if that was too late, I > missed it. Somehow I survived :). Also: if my newspaper > got thrown out before I saw it, I couldn't read the paper > that day unless I could borrow a copy. > > I found shows like The Cosby Show had enough plot to keep > me interested. Now I watch the reruns and they seem almost > as quaint as Leave It To Beaver. Is this because now that > I'm 30 I'm no longer as concerned about the problems of > the teens on the show, or is it because I'm now used to > shows like Desperate Housewifes or Law and Order? Discuss > amongst yourselves :). > > Roseanne was the most contraversial show on t.v. and Ozzie > Osbourne was a has been rocker from my parents generation > > In a class freshman year someone said "The only war we > know is the minor Gulf war.." and we all nodded in > agreement. Is that war going to be renamed Gulf War I :)? > > Liberals called themselves "liberals" (that's not an > attack on liberals; I'm a proud Democrat) > > What we now call "camis" were 2 things-- pajama tops (for > the white cotton ones) or lingerie. > > My list of things to have ready when I needed to leave in > the morning did not include "cell phone". > > I was friends with my neighbors, but not someone living in > South Africa that I met online. > > You had to do something another than be willing to eat > bugs to get to be on t.v. and be famous > > I could not define any of the following words: > E-mail > E-anything (E-commerce, e-banking, e-trading)Download > Blog/blogger > instant message/IM > internet > chat room (Is that like a break room? :) > website (is that where there's a spider web that keeps re- > appearing? :) > online (is that like "are you on board with this > project? :) > text message > HDTV > reality show-- is that a show where a real person gets a > makeover :)? > reality show whore (she's an actual whore, not just an > imposter who wears slutty clothes :) > crank (probably some kind of tool :) > "urban" problems > Bushism (but I did know "Qualyism" :) > Al-Queida > Uzbeckastan (pardon my spelling) > Fox news > recharge my cell phone > See how much smarter I've gotten in about 7 years :)? > > The following words had different meanings: > In Box: an actual box of things to do, filled with actual > papers :) > Paris Hilton: a nice hotel in France > spam: a cheap but disgusting lunch meat > flame: what a large fire created > White Water: water found in the Colorado river > Travelgate: the gate you go to to get on your plane, bus, > etc. > 9/11: the number you call in an emergency > > I am getting old, aren't I :? When I get distressed about > the state of the world, I remember this difference: > When I was in high school students wrote and acted out > orginal plays. One featured two guy roommates who seemed > to be lunatics-- I thought the play was about insanity. A > friend finally explained to me that they were gay and in a > relationship but not only could they not kiss, cuddle, > hold hands or make any reference at all to being "more > than friends" they couldn't say "gay". This script had > been through about 8 editings (and now made no sense) and > the students involved never complained because they knew > they couldn't do anything about it. > > Peace! > > > > >
After watching a video of Helen Keller one day in class- I asked students -What would you do when Helen started throwing tantrums? My gifted child said, " I would try to enroll her in an anger managment class". I thought that was just too cute.
On 5/11/05, MJ wrote: > After watching a video of Helen Keller one day in > class- I asked students -What would you do when Helen > started throwing tantrums? My gifted child said, " I would > try to enroll her in an anger managment class". I thought > that was just too cute.
How about the capital of Maryland? Some people say Baltimore, but I have heard natives say BAL TEE MORE.
M.
On 5/18/05, Dave wrote: > I have a question for y'all...the capital of Kentucky; is > it pronounced LOUIS-ville or LOUIEE-ville? I've heard it > both ways
On 3/20/06, Monica Ghee wrote: > How about the capital of Maryland? Some people say Baltimore, > but I have heard natives say BAL TEE MORE. > > M. > > > On 5/18/05, Dave wrote: >> I have a question for y'all...the capital of Kentucky; is >> it pronounced LOUIS-ville or LOUIEE-ville? I've heard it >> both ways For Monica. Two things, 1)The capitol of Maryland is Annapolis, 2)Most locals pronounce Baltimore as Ball Mer.
I'm part of a professional business organization that will be honoring one of our all time best instructors for over 35 years of excellent teaching and contributions. I want to say a few words, and include some humor about teaching. What can you suggest?
include my humorous stories. hope that helps.. make sure you have only adults though.(no kids). listening to my jokes..
On 6/15/05, Carl wrote: > I'm part of a professional business organization that will > be honoring one of our all time best instructors for over > 35 years of excellent teaching and contributions. I want > to say a few words, and include some humor about > teaching. What can you suggest? > > Thanks, Carl
1)easily distracted by irrelevant sights and sounds. 2)failing to pay attention to details and making careless mistakes 3)rarely following instructions carefully and completely 4)losing or forgetting things like toys, or pencils, books, and tools needed for a task 5)feeling restless, often fidgeting with hands or feet, or squirming 6)climbing or leaving a seat in situations where sitting or quiet behavior is expected 7)blurting out answers before hearing the whole question 8)having difficulty waiting in line or for a turn.
Fortunately, a cure for MD has already been discovered. Its name is RITALIN(TM)
PS: If RITALIN(TM) is not available, the patient can be cured from MD with SCISSORS(TM),but this alternative therapy can be much more difficult, because of the patient's heavy resistence.
What about 8 symptoms of Womanhood Disease like skirt falling...
On 7/18/05, Bad girl wrote: > EIGHT SYMPTOMPS OF MANHOOD DISEASE: > > True men are: > > 1)easily distracted by irrelevant sights and sounds. > 2)failing to pay attention to details and making careless > mistakes > 3)rarely following instructions carefully and completely > 4)losing or forgetting things like toys, or pencils, books, > and tools needed for a task > 5)feeling restless, often fidgeting with hands or feet, or > squirming > 6)climbing or leaving a seat in situations where sitting or > quiet behavior is expected > 7)blurting out answers before hearing the whole question > 8)having difficulty waiting in line or for a turn. > > Fortunately, a cure for MD has already been discovered. Its > name is RITALIN(TM) > > PS: If RITALIN(TM) is not available, the patient can be > cured from MD with SCISSORS(TM),but this alternative > therapy can be much more difficult, because of the > patient's heavy resistence.
what a lot of people don't understand is that everything we watch has a bias. michael moore is to the left, limbaugh is to the right. this doesnt' mean that we shouldn't watch what they produce. if a person is already confident in their political beliefs, he/she should be able to sit through a liberal documentary or a conservative news broadcast. it's just a fact that we aren't exposed to materials that are unbiased. and in the dawn of our republican right wing society it's only natural that moore would feel the need to produce something so radical...if he didn't, we'd all have to become mindless drones that only listen to O'Reiley...
what about clothes on when you left home versus no clothes arriving home...
On 8/18/05, soy yo wrote: > what a lot of people don't understand is that everything > we watch has a bias. michael moore is to the left, > limbaugh is to the right. this doesnt' mean that we > shouldn't watch what they produce. if a person is already > confident in their political beliefs, he/she should be > able to sit through a liberal documentary or a > conservative news broadcast. it's just a fact that we > aren't exposed to materials that are unbiased. and in the > dawn of our republican right wing society it's only > natural that moore would feel the need to produce > something so radical...if he didn't, we'd all have to > become mindless drones that only listen to O'Reiley...
On 4/21/05, micky wrote:
> you are wrong, it was coco willy