Lunch is my favorite time to collect school quotes to share from my darling Kindergartners. Today some of the students were discussing things they've learned that they consider way above Kindergarten level. Three of them were sharing Spanish words they've learned. A fourth student, not wanting to be outdone by his pals, chimed in with this, "Yeah, but can you speak cursive? I can!" (I told him I wanted to hear it, too. He said he'd tell me later. I can't wait!)
My first graders were talking about what they wanted to be when they grow up. They asked about training and then what happens after that. I told them about interviews and what that entailed. Then little Ryan says, "When it's over, do they give you a lollipop?" Jenna
Can anyone tell me where I can find a job description and requirements for teachers in the 1800's? I've seen this list before, and society's expectations of teachers were quite humorous. (I believe it specified things such as proper dress code, the time by which she need to be home at night, the relations she could have with men, etc.)
If anyone could point me to a website where I can find this, or post as a reply to this message, I'd appreciate it!
I wanted to announce the release of my 80 page comic book of teacher humor that I have just self published. Basically it is a chronicle of funny sayings (with illustrations) by students in my art classroom (and a few from teachers) over the course of a semester. Please visit my site for more information.....Thanks enjoy!
I still have a few copies of "First Semester" left and am selling them for a mere $5.00. Visit flummery.com for more details.
I also have recently posted handouts and materials related to my work on the Maryland Comic Book Initiative, a partnership with Diamond Comics and Disney in which comics are used to enhance learning/instruction.
I was going over different note values with my second graders in music class..."ta" is one beat, "ti-ti" represents two notes sharing one beat, etc. I had drawn examples on the board, but the stems were going down instead of up, the way they are shown in the book. One boy raised his hand and said, "Mrs. B., your ti-ti's are upside down!!"
The other day my friend the art teacher asked the kids what the big oven that they bake the clay in is called. One little boy said, "Did you forget already?"
In a research paper a student was describing how her grandfather's life was affected by World War II. One sentence meant to say ". . .until he dropped out of school in ninth grade."
Unknowingly she typed ". . .until he doped out of school in ninth grade."
A kindergarten teacher was explaining different kinds of flowers one day and asked her students to name different flowers. Some of the kid's responses were rose, tulip, daisy, and cauliflower!!
Not Really a classroom humor, but thought some of you might enjoy...Have you noticed anything fishy about the UN inspection teams who are in Iraq? They're all men!
How in the name of the United Nations does anyone expect men to find Saddam's stash? We all know that men have a blind spot when it comes to finding things. For crying' out loud! Men can't find the dirty clothes hamper. Men can't find the jar of jelly until it falls out of the cupboard and splatters on the floor.... and these are the people we have sent into Iraq to search for hidden weapons of mass destruction?
I keep wondering why groups of mothers weren't sent in.
Mothers can sniff out secrets quicker than a drug dog can find a gram of dope.
Mothers can find gin bottles that dads have stashed in the attic beneath the rafters. They can sniff out a diary two rooms and one floor away. They can tell when the lid of a cookie jar has been disturbed and notice when a quarter inch slice has been shaved off a chocolate cake.
A mother can smell alcohol on your breath before you get your key in the front door and can smell cigarette smoke from a block away. By examining laundry, a mother knows more about their kids than Sherlock Holmes. And if a mother wants an answer to question, she can read an offender's eyes quicker than a homicide detective. So...
considering the value a mother could bring to an inspection team, why are we sending a bunch of old men who will rely on electronic equipment to scout out hidden threats?
My mother would walk in with a wooden soup spoon in one hand, grab Saddam by the ear, give it a good twist and snap, "Young man, do you have any weapons of mass destruction?" And God help him if he tried to lie to her.
She'd march him down the street to some secret bunker and shove his nose into a nuclear bomb and say, "Uh, huh, and what do you call this, mister?" Whap! Thump! Whap! Whap! Whap! And she'd lay some stripes across his bare bottom with that soup spoon, then march him home in front of the whole of Baghdad.
He'd not only come clean and apologize for lying about it, he'd cut every lawn in Baghdad for free for the whole damn summer.
Inspectors my ass... You want the job done? Call my mother.
Not really classroom humor either, but good for a laugh...Axis of Evil Wannabes, by John Cleese
Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be more evil than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil...we're the best."
Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So, you can only have three, and a secret handshake.
Ours is wickedly cool."
International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.
Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs.
Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the "Axis of Somewhat Evil," forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the "Axis of Occasionally Evil," while Bulgaria,Indonesia and Russia established the "Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable."
With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up...Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the "Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics."
Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About America," while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the "Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to
ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick." "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axis, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately,
world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.
On 4/13/03, CHANGE THE POST!!! CORRECT IT NOW THAT YOU KNOW IT"S WRONG wrote: > Since you now know that this was NOT written by John Cleese, you > should change the title and acknowledge the true author. Don't > leave it this way!
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can you please tell me as i need that sort of information for
a high school assinment