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by ...from around the world
Jul 28, 2003
/blockquote>
A fresh batch of supposedly true headlines:
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes...See More/blockquote>
A fresh batch of supposedly true headlines:
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
MORE:
"The Clairvoyant Society will not have its usual meeting
this week,
due to unforeseen circumstances." -The London Times
Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip
Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
Latin Course To Be Canceled--No Interest Among Students, Et
Al.
Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Autos Killing 110 a Day--Let's Resolve to Do Better
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn't Seen in
Years
--from the-mouth.com
/blockquote>
May I get the way to know some humour , joke or education
about the privary school. middle-school .high school in
English speaking world? Please kindly tell me some useful
web site.
/blockquote>
I was quizzing students about the Feast of the Lupercal in
Roman times. One Sophomore girl responded: "The Feast of
the Lupercal was when Mark Antony walked through the streets
hitting women with a stick making them futile." I guess
they weren't much good unless they could bear children?
by 1st grade teacher
Aug 17, 2003
/blockquote>
Sometimes I forget how first graders are at the beginning
of the year. By the time I get to the end of the year,
they are so independent and I don't have to tell them
every little step to getting their work done.
Since the first day of school, we have been going over the
three things a sentence mus...See More/blockquote>
Sometimes I forget how first graders are at the beginning
of the year. By the time I get to the end of the year,
they are so independent and I don't have to tell them
every little step to getting their work done.
Since the first day of school, we have been going over the
three things a sentence must have in order to be
a "complete sentence." I have a large poster in my room
that says
WRITING SENTENCES
1. Capital letter
2. . or ?
3. Makes sense
Instead of reviewing by telling the kids what a sentence
needed, I asked them to tell me.
A little girl raised her hand and said, "It has to start
with a capital letter." After praising her, I called on a
little boy to tell me the next answer.
He said, "It has to have a period at the end... or a
question mark." I was impressed!
The last child I called on is sure to elaborate on any
answer so, she told me that the sentence has to make sense
and then informed me that I had forgotten something.
She said, "You have to put spaces between your words!"
I guess I didn't realize that I had stressed 4 things that
a sentence needs!
by 1st grade teacher
Aug 17, 2003
/blockquote>
Here is a joke that I love!
On the first day of school, a first grade teacher asked
the class to bring in something to show the class and tell
about their background.
A little Muslim boy walked to the front of the room with
his turbin. He explained the signifigance of the turbin
and said, "...See More/blockquote>
Here is a joke that I love!
On the first day of school, a first grade teacher asked
the class to bring in something to show the class and tell
about their background.
A little Muslim boy walked to the front of the room with
his turbin. He explained the signifigance of the turbin
and said, "This is a turbin. I am Muslim."
Next, a little Catholic girl walked to the front of the
room carrying her rosary beads. She explained what the
rosary beads were and said, "These are rosary beads. I am
Catholic."
Then, a little Jewish boy walked to the front of the room
with the Star of David. He explained what the Star of
David symbolized and said, "This is the Star of David. I
am Jewish."
The last child to walk to the front of the room was a
little girl. She stood in front of the class and
said, "This is a CASSEROLE DISH. I am SOUTHERN BAPTIST!"
Those of you who are baptist (and who aren't) will
appreciate this one... My mother always said that baptists
think you can't get into heaven without a covered dish.
by 1st grade teacher
Aug 17, 2003
/blockquote>
It was my first year teaching first grade. All of the
first grade teachers and students were out for recess, and
of course... the teachers were all together chatting.
Suddenly a little girl ran up to me frantic.
"Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Smith. Someone wrote cuss words all
over our slide!"
I replie...See More/blockquote>
It was my first year teaching first grade. All of the
first grade teachers and students were out for recess, and
of course... the teachers were all together chatting.
Suddenly a little girl ran up to me frantic.
"Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Smith. Someone wrote cuss words all
over our slide!"
I replied, "Oh that is just terrible. Doesn't it just
make your stomach hurt to know someone would do that. Go
on and play and I'll tell the principal that we need to
have it painted."
"No, Mrs. Smith. We know who did it and they are gonna be
in BIG TROUBLE!"
I explained that there was no way that we could know who
did it and that we were not going to start accusing people
when we didn't SEE anyone do it."
"No Mrs. Smith. I do know who did it. They put their
name on it."
I was thinking that these vandals had no sense at all to
write their name beside the cuss words. I asked if they
could read the name and she said yes.
"Dick Pussy did it. It says it on there... Dick Pussy."
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE! With the straightest face
possible (not wanting to be the ones to teach them 2 more
cuss words), I quickly said, "Well, I don't know who Dick
Pussy is but I am sure that the principal will have him in
detention!"
Ohhh the innocent minds of 6 yr. olds!
by 1st grade teacher
Aug 19, 2003
/blockquote>
Background Info:I have a little boy in my class who can
never admit when he is wrong. I can SEE him do something
and he will argue and deny and make excuses til the bitter
end. He is highly intelligent. He once told me he was
the "undefeated contender" at playing pick-up sticks.
When he plays, he says.. ...See More/blockquote>
Background Info:I have a little boy in my class who can
never admit when he is wrong. I can SEE him do something
and he will argue and deny and make excuses til the bitter
end. He is highly intelligent. He once told me he was
the "undefeated contender" at playing pick-up sticks.
When he plays, he says.. "If you guys would be quite,
maybe I could get some concentration!" Needless to say,
those are big words for such a little guy! Today I had to
correct him for working ahead when we were using markers.
He had made a mistake and there was nothing that could be
done to fix it. He seemed upset, so I called him to my
desk.
Me: You do understand that I wasnt angry at you, right?
I just wanted you to understand that you had made a
mistake that could have been avoided if you would've
waited for us.
Child: No, that's not what happened.
Me: Then why don't you explain to me what did happen?
Child: Well, you didnt finish what you were saying when I
wrote my answer and when you finally said it, it was too
late.
Me: Exactly, you were working ahead of me and the class.
Child: No, that's not what happened.
Me: So, what was it?
Child: (Nice cover... hehehe)Well, I know what it is I
want to say, but I don't know how to pronounce it.
I've never heard a funnier excuse. I went on to tell him
that he could pronounce it, and to repeat after me.
I WAS WRONG................ he repeated in tears
I MADE A MISTAKE...........repeat with tears
ITS NO BIG DEAL............ITS (sniffle,sniffle) NO
(sniffle) BIG (sniffle) DEAL.
Very clever kid... can't admit when he is wrong. (Fun to
have around, nonetheless.)
/blockquote>
I have an online diary that chronicles the funny things I
hear children say on a daily basis. With school starting
back up, I am eager to return to my daily postings. If
anyone would like to email me some of their favorites, I
would be happy to post them and give credit.
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Teacher Chatboards
class cancelled because teacher has to change her clothes...
On 7/28/03, ...from around the world wrote:
> A fresh batch of supposedly true headlines:
>
> Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
> Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
> Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecr...See More