Colleague Talking with Parents

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Colleague Talking with Parents

by Confused

Apr 8, 2011

Question - how do you deal with a colleague that is saying things to parents about you that are not true?

I had to discipline a student who happens to be this colleagues child. The child was not in my class at the time. The colleague / parent has told other parents that I am out to get them. I have had several students share what this person has said to them and their parents, and even had a parent express concerns.

My response has been that 1. I do not discuss other students with people and 2. If I have any discipline issues with your child, I am happy to talk them over with them, and 3. I am more than happy to conference with them and administration to discuss and ease their fears. So far no one has taken me up on it.

I have not spoken to administration because I am not sure how to bring it up.

Any suggestions. This has really shaken me up.

Comment

(5)

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Judy2/CA I would talk with your principal and explain the situation. WE have a teacher at my grade level who is a loose cannon and speaks with parents of students of other teachers - the principal had to step in.

On 4/08/11, Confused wrote: > Question - how do you deal with a colleague that is saying > things to parents about you that are no...See More

Apr 8, 2011

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Vet Teacher On 4/08/11, Confused wrote: > Question - how do you deal with a colleague that is saying > things to parents about you that are not true?

I taught for years at a school where many of us also had our children enrolled. This situation you're describing can happen when parents and children are at the same school - it's only surprising ...See More

Apr 11, 2011

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Confused What shook me up was the fact that this person was acting so unprofessionally. Why would they do that? What was their motive?

When I was approached by both the students and a set of parents I did smile and say that that:

1. I do not discuss other students with people and 2. If I have any discipline issues with your child, I am ha...See More

Apr 11, 2011

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Sara On 4/11/11, Confused wrote: > What shook me up was the fact that this person was acting so > unprofessionally. Why would they do that? What was their motive? > Some people are more in tune with what is and is not professional behavior - there doesn't have to be a motive. Some people are more 'there' than other people - we had a colleague w...See MoreOn 4/11/11, Confused wrote: > What shook me up was the fact that this person was acting so > unprofessionally. Why would they do that? What was their motive? > Some people are more in tune with what is and is not professional behavior - there doesn't have to be a motive. Some people are more 'there' than other people - we had a colleague who was kind of nuts actually - a very tempermental person who was also a very tempermental teacher. She demanded a lot of the people around her and as her own daughter went through the school, it was very difficult. We had to contend with her as a colleague and a very difficult one and a very confrontational parent both.

People have different personalities and at any moment, some people become less guarded than other moments. Some otherwise seemingly rational people become less rational in certain moments - when my mother saw a mouse, she could go wild with fear. At a mouse? Sometimes a parent, any parent, when they think their child has been criticized overmuch or criticized at all can become a very different person than they normally are.

You assume she had a 'motive' - wounded parents and wounded people alike can assuage their wounds by talking overmuch - they emote, they vent even when they shouldn't. There doesn't have to be a 'motive'.

I treated all my colleagues' kids with kid gloves when they were in my grade all the while trying to maintain the outer image of treating them like every other kid - it's a tightrope and a delicate subterfuge but it can be done and I did it with the motive of wanting to get along and keeping things flowing as smoothly as possible. Good luck.

> > > I guess I have been lucky that I have worked in environments where > my colleagues have acted in a professional manner. At least I > never noticed since I try very hard not to listen to any of the > gossip. So it is probably going on all around and I have just > been lucky enough not to hear / notice / or be involved in it. > > To me it was just so strange.

Apr 12, 2011

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you're doing a good job You're doing a great job of handling an uncomfortable situation. If the Admin does get wind up of the problem and calls you into the office, you have been dealing with the rumors in a very professional way, and the school record won't show a history of having something out for her child but of ONE disciplinary action that probably makes a lot of se...See More

Apr 26, 2011

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