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Preschool Teachers Chatboard

Part rant, part plea for help

by Anon for now

Apr 19, 2012

In order to clear a waiting list that was mounting up for some of the younger rooms, my center did a not-very-well- thought-out transition of a bunch of children: 1's room to 2's room, 2's room to PS, and several preschoolers (ranging from 3 years, 4 months to 4 years, 1 month) into my Pre-K program which is *supposed* to be only for children who a...See MoreIn order to clear a waiting list that was mounting up for some of the younger rooms, my center did a not-very-well- thought-out transition of a bunch of children: 1's room to 2's room, 2's room to PS, and several preschoolers (ranging from 3 years, 4 months to 4 years, 1 month) into my Pre-K program which is *supposed* to be only for children who are entering Kindergarten the following fall (although I started off the year with a small group with October birthdays, so the kindergarten next year thing isn't a hard and fast rule). The three year old came to me because he was on the verge of being disenrolled or pulled out by his parents because of his behavior. It runs the gamut from fairly age appropriate, energetic boy stuff like running around, climbing furniture, and using materials inappropriately, to hurting other children by hitting or knocking them down and jumping on them, to running away from teachers by leaving the classroom or playground. (It was the last one that was the last straw, because our policy is that if a child runs out of the room they have to go home--please don't ask why, because I don't know. Random zero tolerance gets on my nerves, and his parents weren't a big fan of it either since it affects their work attendance!) I'm known as the teacher who can fix behavior problems, so, YAY! Present for me...fix him! And I don't know why I'm having such a hard time with this, but I am. He's making me nuts to the point I'm having difficulty not showing it, which is just going to exacerbate the problem ("Heeheehee, look at the shade of red Teacher's face turns when I do this...let me see if I can do that again!"). I think part of the problem is that my room was in such a good place, and now it's turning chaotic, and I can't deal!

This child does okay during times of structure. During large group, he tends to invade people's space and can't sit still as long as we need him to, but our rug is overcrowded for our larger class size and he's 3 1/2, not 5 (new rug on the way, and he'll be 5 in a year and a half!). He is eager to participate in art, science, and sensory activities, as well as group games. He loves the cars and trucks in the block center and puzzles in the math center. He doesn't do so well during music and movement-- starts the running/climbing behaviors--so we keep him near us or hold his hand and that sometimes helps, but not always (but I hate making kids sit during times when they NEED to move). I figure maybe the music and all the other kids' energy during that time is overstimulating? But what to do???

The worst times are transitions. I have a consistent schedule, I give countdown warnings as we near the end of center time--including personal ones for him, and we use a consistent routine for clean-up and the down-time after meals/snacks...but still, he goes nuts and starts running around, diving over furniture, knocking things down, knocking people down...it's a mess. Possibly the same type trigger as music and movement time? We use clean-up songs on the CD player and the general volume of the room always goes up during clean up. And after meals, kids are kind of all over the place, cleaning up their area, washing up, using the bathroom before nap, walking around choosing books...mild degrees of chaos come with the territory. So, again, what to do??? The meals themselves are also challenging. He's a picky eater and doesn't want to BE at the table, much less sit there until other friends are beginning to finish...but I want him to sit there for at least a while so we can model the table manners, polite conversation, etc. and at least encourage him to try something that's on his plate. That's not the wrong thing to do, or is it?? Also, as soon as he gets up from the table, he starts running around, and my co-teacher and I need to 1) log precisely what each child ate on their communication form, 2) clean the bowls, wipe down the chairs, sanitize the table, and sweep, and 3) put out nap mats and nap items. When our attention is on any of those things, the negative behaviors start and escalate. Those three things HAVE to happen, they are not optional, they require both of us, and they all take time. ARGH!

I think the thing that has me most beside myself is that I'm *good* at wrangling this kind of kid...but he makes me feel like a failure. All of my usual tools just don't work...I have clear, positively stated expectations (adjusted for the fact that he is 3 1/2, not 5!) I give transition warnings and reminders of the expectations, I am trying desperately to catch him being good and give specific praise to him as well as praising the appropriate behavior of people near him rather than constantly correcting him, I am consistent with consequences, I am trying hard to pick my battles, I try to ignore minor behaviors (unsuccessfully, because he escalates and escalates and escalates and I really don't want to get fired because I "let" him get a concussion or break an arm or leg, nor will I let him hurt other children and that is his behavior of last resort, I've noticed), I try as often as possible to set him up as a "special helper"...none of it works! Every day, every transition time, same behaviors.

Sorry for the long post...I started to type and it just spewed out. Any input at all would be very much appreciated...even if it's just a "been there, dealt with that." Good thing tomorrow's Friday...I need a bit of space I think!

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