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College Professors Chatboard

Female student has a crush on me...very awkward! any advice?

by Mr.Mele

Mar 16, 2010

To start off, I would like to mention I have been in the teaching field for quite some time now (to be exact, 22 years) I teach spanish (freshman through senior year) and there's a particular female student in my senior class who I feel has a crush on me. Now, I had students crush on me throughout the school years, but as I age, I have to admit it is very flattering especially if the girls are attractive. Unfortunately, it is inappropriate and extremely distracting to see an attractive girl batting her eyelashes at me and smiling when lecturing a class. Her attempts to get a response from me are very subtle, so I am not sure how I am going to handle this. She talks with witty sarcasm throughout the entire lecture (usually trying to tease me) e.g I put on a movie with spanish subtitles and I paused it when a female character was interacting with a male and asked what she was saying. So she tries to interpret and goes, "I ...am.... ready... for ...you" and looks at me....while the whole ...See More

Mom to Three ost: Student has a crush on me

To start off, I would like to mention I have been in the teaching field for quite some time now (to be exact, 22 years) I teach science (freshman through senior year) and there's a particular female student in my senior class who I feel has a crush on me. Now, I had students crush on me throughout the school ...See Moreost: Student has a crush on me

To start off, I would like to mention I have been in the teaching field for quite some time now (to be exact, 22 years) I teach science (freshman through senior year) and there's a particular female student in my senior class who I feel has a crush on me. Now, I had students crush on me throughout the school years, but as I age, I have to admit it is very flattering especially if the girls are attractive. Unfortunately, it is inappropriate and extremely distracting to see an attractive girl batting her eyelashes at me and smiling when lecturing a class.

SOMEONE HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS

On 3/16/10, Mr.Mele wrote: > To start off, I would like to mention I have been in the > teaching field for quite some time now (to be exact, 22 > years) I teach spanish (freshman through senior year) and > there's a particular female student in my senior class who > I feel has a crush on me. Now, I had students crush on me > throughout the school years, but as I age, I have to admit > it is very flattering especially if the girls are > attractive. Unfortunately, it is inappropriate and > extremely distracting to see an attractive girl batting her > eyelashes at me and smiling when lecturing a class. Her > attempts to get a response from me are very subtle, so I am > not sure how I am going to handle this. She talks with > witty sarcasm throughout the entire lecture (usually trying > to tease me) e.g I put on a movie with spanish subtitles > and I paused it when a female character was interacting > with a male and asked what she was saying. So she tries to > interpret and goes, "I ...am.... ready... for ...you" and > looks at me....while the whole class bursts into laughter. > Another e.g. I ask the class how many macho men there are > in the room and her reply was, "just one.....YOU"...I went > beet red. I have to admit i'm guilty of making up pet names > and teasing her myself. (I have no inappropriate intentions > whatsoever) I feel a little infatuated with her but she is > making this twice as difficult. Any words of advice? how > should I go about talking to her about this? When I tell > her (in front of the class) "stop making fun of the old > man" she says, "old man? you don't look a day over 35" with > that sly smile of hers. > > Just to get a clear picture.... when I tease her I usually > say, "where's husband number 8" and "you'll marry a rich > old man, then bury him and put the money in the bank' or if > a bunch of spanish words are written on the chalkboard, i > point on bella and ask here to spell it out for me. I don't > consider that out of line. I am clearly just being friendly > (she is 18)

Mar 17, 2010

You are disgusting, Mr. Mele. --not with MY 18 yr. old dd ! On 3/16/10, Mr.Mele wrote: > To start off, I would like to mention I have been in the > teaching field for quite some time now (to be exact, 22 > years) I teach spanish (freshman through senior year) and > there's a particular female student in my senior class who > I feel has a crush on me. Now, I had students crush on me > throu...See MoreOn 3/16/10, Mr.Mele wrote: > To start off, I would like to mention I have been in the > teaching field for quite some time now (to be exact, 22 > years) I teach spanish (freshman through senior year) and > there's a particular female student in my senior class who > I feel has a crush on me. Now, I had students crush on me > throughout the school years, but as I age, I have to admit > it is very flattering especially if the girls are > attractive. Unfortunately, it is inappropriate and > extremely distracting to see an attractive girl batting her > eyelashes at me and smiling when lecturing a class. Her > attempts to get a response from me are very subtle, so I am > not sure how I am going to handle this. She talks with > witty sarcasm throughout the entire lecture (usually trying > to tease me) e.g I put on a movie with spanish subtitles > and I paused it when a female character was interacting > with a male and asked what she was saying. So she tries to > interpret and goes, "I ...am.... ready... for ...you" and > looks at me....while the whole class bursts into laughter. > Another e.g. I ask the class how many macho men there are > in the room and her reply was, "just one.....YOU"...I went > beet red. I have to admit i'm guilty of making up pet names > and teasing her myself. (I have no inappropriate intentions > whatsoever) I feel a little infatuated with her but she is > making this twice as difficult. Any words of advice? how > should I go about talking to her about this? When I tell > her (in front of the class) "stop making fun of the old > man" she says, "old man? you don't look a day over 35" with > that sly smile of hers. > > Just to get a clear picture.... when I tease her I usually > say, "where's husband number 8" and "you'll marry a rich > old man, then bury him and put the money in the bank' or if > a bunch of spanish words are written on the chalkboard, i > point on bella and ask here to spell it out for me. I don't > consider that out of line. I am clearly just being friendly > (she is 18)

Mar 29, 2010

Ho On 3/16/10, Mr.Mele wrote: > To start off, I would like to mention I have been in the > teaching field for quite some time now (to be exact, 22 > years) I teach spanish (freshman through senior year) and > there's a particular female student in my senior class who > I feel has a crush on me. Now, I had students crush on me > throu...See MoreOn 3/16/10, Mr.Mele wrote: > To start off, I would like to mention I have been in the > teaching field for quite some time now (to be exact, 22 > years) I teach spanish (freshman through senior year) and > there's a particular female student in my senior class who > I feel has a crush on me. Now, I had students crush on me > throughout the school years, but as I age, I have to admit > it is very flattering especially if the girls are > attractive. Unfortunately, it is inappropriate and > extremely distracting to see an attractive girl batting her > eyelashes at me and smiling when lecturing a class. Her. She doesn't like you > attempts to get a response from me are very subtle, so I am > not sure how I am going to handle this. She talks with > witty sarcasm throughout the entire lecture (usually trying > to tease me) e.g I put on a movie with spanish subtitles > and I paused it when a female character was interacting > with a male and asked what she was saying. So she tries to > interpret and goes, "I ...am.... ready... for ...you" and > looks at me....while the whole class bursts into laughter. > Another e.g. I ask the class how many macho men there are > in the room and her reply was, "just one.....YOU"...I went > beet red. I have to admit i'm guilty of making up pet names > and teasing her myself. (I have no inappropriate intentions > whatsoever) I feel a little infatuated with her but she is > making this twice as difficult. Any words of advice? how > should I go about talking to her about this? When I tell > her (in front of the class) "stop making fun of the old > man" she says, "old man? you don't look a day over 35" with > that sly smile of hers. > > Just to get a clear picture.... when I tease her I usually > say, "where's husband number 8" and "you'll marry a rich > old man, then bury him and put the money in the bank' or if > a bunch of spanish words are written on the chalkboard, i > point on bella and ask here to spell it out for me. I don't > consider that out of line. I am clearly just being friendly > (she is 18)

Feb 8, 2015

Get hold of yourself On 3/16/10, Mr.Mele wrote:

It's awkward to hear you say that you find it flattering. There's no acceptable reason to find it flattering and it says something about you that you do. A teenage girl's crush if real is just that - nothing more - and she could just as easily have a crush on anyone else. There's nothing rational in a teenage gir...See MoreOn 3/16/10, Mr.Mele wrote:

It's awkward to hear you say that you find it flattering. There's no acceptable reason to find it flattering and it says something about you that you do. A teenage girl's crush if real is just that - nothing more - and she could just as easily have a crush on anyone else. There's nothing rational in a teenage girl's crush. A crush says nothing about your appearance - and that you don't know that after 22 years of teaching is as odd as being flattered by it.

Any parent reading this would think you more than odd - they'd be worried. You should NOT be distracted by a teenage girl's confused and puerile attempts at being attractive. That you admit you are infatuated is a good thing to be able to acknowledge that but it is totally inappropriate to be infatuated with her. Would you be comfortable telling her parents that you're infatuated with her? Would you be comfortable telling your administrator that you're infatuated with her?

And you are inviting this with your 'old man' comments - that's baiting her to make a comment about your appearance - that's wildly inappropriate. Your comments about her 'husband' - these are all suggestive remarks on your part because they are over the line of what you should be saying. To say the least, it's unprofessional but at its worst - it's troubled behavior on your part.

The best thing that could be happening here is that she is making a complete fool of you and that sly smile is her precursor to the laughter that follows in the bathroom later in the day when she relates to her girlfriends what a fool she is making of you. Teenage girls these days do not have crushes. Teenage girls these days can be sexually active and with that activity, they don't need to fantasize through crushes. They can express themselves more 'fully' these days than they could years ago and they do.

Regardless of whether her feelings are sincere or sincerely mocking, you need to talk this over with someone who can sincerely help you. Aging is hard, no doubt about it, but what you're doing to contend with your age will make your life harder not easier and it could make your job and keeping it harder not easier.

We live in very touchy times - stop with the touchy remarks.

> > Just to get a clear picture.... when I tease her I usually > say, "where's husband number 8" and "you'll marry a rich > old man, then bury him and put the money in the bank' or if > a bunch of spanish words are written on the chalkboard, i > point on bella and ask here to spell it out for me. I don't > consider that out of line. I am clearly just being friendly > (she is 18)

Feb 10, 2015

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