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how to deal with false accusations?

by justme

Feb 10, 2015

This is my first time posting. I just need a place to vent, question and get some advice.

I sub at my daughter's school ALL THE TIME. I subbed 1st grade yesterday... and the class was good. I didn't have many major issues....or so I thought.

Today I'm also subbing 1st grade but for a different class. One of the administrators came to me and told me that they received a complaint from a parent stating that I called their child a "jerk" and the parent wanted to know if this was accurate. There is no way that I would ever refer to a child as a jerk ...this has me so upset.

Then she told me that another parent has stated that I yelled at the class yesterday. Now the actual teacher is very soft spoken. I am not her and not a very soft spoken person, however there were moments yesterday when I had to raise my voice a little to get their attention but I wouldn't consider myself to be yelling at them... they were first graders after all.

since i w...See More

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justme Thank you! I told her exactly that. I guess it was just my first complaint! Had me rattled. =) Thicker skin is really need!

Feb 10, 2015

Jayani This is bothering you and has you "rattled" because you are a good and caring person, and want to do the best job you can. This is in contrast to subs who couldn't care less, and only show up to put in time and get the check.

It's true that you shouldn't lose a moment of sleep over it, but if you are a caring and sensitive perso...See More

Feb 10, 2015

pixie Any parents knows, or should know, that when an adult speaks in a stern tone, a young child will say the adult "yelled at me." Presumably your principal knows that, but was obliged to tell you the complaint and report back to the parent. Fortunately, the princ. knows you and is thus more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt. Hopefu...See MoreAny parents knows, or should know, that when an adult speaks in a stern tone, a young child will say the adult "yelled at me." Presumably your principal knows that, but was obliged to tell you the complaint and report back to the parent. Fortunately, the princ. knows you and is thus more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt. Hopefully you will hear no more about it, but for your own protection, I suggest that you research some alternatives to stern voice commands. For example, some elem teachers use hand signals or little sing song phrases; "one two three, eyes on me" is the best known one, but there are many others, and some teachers ring a bell or something like that. There are also on the web lists of movement activities for early elem kids that you can use periodically to help them get their wiggles out. The "real" teacher may have left them too much seatwork, and they will therefore act up because of too much sitting. I only sub in high schools, but if I were going to sub in elem, I would make sure I had a tool kit full of these strategies. Maybe you know all this already; if so, just disregard. Good luck!

On 2/10/15, Jayani wrote: > > This is bothering you and has you "rattled" because you are a > good and caring person, and want to do the best job you can. > This is in contrast to subs who couldn't care less, and only > show up to put in time and get the check. > > It's true that you shouldn't lose a moment of sleep over it, > but if you are a caring and sensitive person, subbing will > get to you. Be careful of your health. Sensitive, caring > folks are the ones that get sick! Hope this helps a little. > > > > On 2/10/15, justme wrote: >> This is my first time posting. I just need a place to vent, >> question and get some advice. >> >> I sub at my daughter's school ALL THE TIME. I subbed 1st > grade >> yesterday... and the class was good. I didn't have many > major >> issues....or so I thought. >> >> Today I'm also subbing 1st grade but for a different class. >> One of the administrators came to me and told me that they >> received a complaint from a parent stating that I called > their >> child a "jerk" and the parent wanted to know if this was >> accurate. There is no way that I would ever refer to a > child >> as a jerk ...this has me so upset. >> >> Then she told me that another parent has stated that I > yelled >> at the class yesterday. Now the actual teacher is very soft >> spoken. I am not her and not a very soft spoken person, >> however there were moments yesterday when I had to raise my >> voice a little to get their attention but I wouldn't > consider >> myself to be yelling at them... they were first graders > after >> all. >> >> since i was told this I have been so upset I don't know how > to >> deal with these complaints being that they are false. >> >> fortunately the administrator knows me somewhat and know > that >> there has never been a complete like this before though > it's >> still bothering me. >> >> how do you handle issues like these?

Feb 10, 2015

Ze Povinho When you are accused of anything in the world of education, you usually lose.

School sites for subs and even regular teachers are veritable replicas of totalitarian states. I have posted about this, and if you really analyze the two, you will see that there are strong similarities.

One of these is the fact that, in both systems, a...See MoreWhen you are accused of anything in the world of education, you usually lose.

School sites for subs and even regular teachers are veritable replicas of totalitarian states. I have posted about this, and if you really analyze the two, you will see that there are strong similarities.

One of these is the fact that, in both systems, accused is basically the same as convicted. In both, all it takes is an accusation of anything. It does not have to be true. It does not have to be based on any facts or logic. Whatever the student or regular teacher says regarding the substitute is the truth. What matters is not your perception of things, but those of the administrators or the teachers or the students.

In an age where the trend is to cater to the self esteem of the students and to "not hurt their feelings," it is extremely important to watch what one says and does. This is especially true when dealing with lower elementary students who interpret a justified stern warning as a direct and lethal attack on their self esteem and feelings. It is a challenge to not "yell" or otherwise be firm and sterm. So, it is best to try one of those methods that I have seen full timers do (i.e. the three count as in eyes on me one two three).

Yes, there will be students who are so hypersensitive that even a moderately stated request for them to stop distracting the class, stop wasting time, and stop moving around during reading time or another academic activity will result in them cry as if their beloved pet has died or something like that. Yes, I have had my share of these in Dictatorship I aka former district.

But the question is how to deal with false accusations in the school setting.

It is best to deal with these in a way one would deal with any of these in a military dictatorship.

It is simple. The only thing you can do is to state your side (assuming you really did nothing serious and verifiable such as assaulting others or things like that). You say the truth and therefore, you know that your conscience is at ease since you spoke the truth. You know full well that you did not call the student insults. You know that you left the room clean. You know that you followed the plans to the best of your ability and knowledge and did not engage in controversial topics and behaviors. You know that you are innocent and you know that your conscience is clean and free.

None of this matters to admins or full time teachers.

Whatever they say happened, it is. Even if it's not true and your explanation is logical and valid, you will still probably be banned from a site "to protect everyone, including you." So, you did your part in being honest, but the rest is up to the admins and teachers. Where I am, it is the norm to ban a substitute for the scenario that the original poster described, especially if there are multiple reports of the same concern. At least the original poster was given the courtesy of warnings by the principal and a chance to explain herself. Consider yourself very lucky, OP because where I am, we are never given a chance to defend ourselves before a formal negative evaluation and being banned from the site is applied to us.

There are plenty of news articles about subs and teachers being fired. Just google these as in "substitute teacher fired" and you will find dozens of articles. Read them and analyze what is reported. You will realize that, at times, it takes frighteningly little to be fired. You realize that every single thing you do is a potential cause to be dismissed.

Ze

Feb 13, 2015

Veteran Substitute When you are falsely accused of something that didn't happen in the classroom. It can affect you mentally and will consume you. It has happened to me too. The way I handle it is by prayer. It always calms my nerves and thoughts.

Apr 3, 2015

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