Conflict between parent and teacher (student)

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Conflict between parent and teacher (student)

by Dennell

Dec 1, 2011

I'm currently in school; I want to become a parent educator when all is said and done but for right now I've got to get through my assignments. This assignment is about how teachers work with parents in difficult situations. How do teachers resolve conflict without coming off as know it all’s or being bossy/pushy? Some of the things we are currently going over in our text are “I Messages” I am curious how well that has worked for all of you currently working with parent?

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you can't resolve conflicts with bossiness On 12/01/11, Dennell wrote: > I'm currently in school; I want to become a parent educator > when all is said and done but for right now I've got to get > through my assignments. This assignment is about how > teachers work with parents in difficult situations. How do > teachers resolve conflict without coming off as know it > all�...See More

Dec 1, 2011

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Leah You may get some ideas from reading the following article

Dec 1, 2011

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Sara On 12/01/11, Dennell wrote: > I'm currently in school; I want to become a parent educator > when all is said and done but for right now I've got to get > through my assignments. This assignment is about how > teachers work with parents in difficult situations. How do > teachers resolve conflict without coming off as know it > all�...See More

Dec 2, 2011

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Tessa NBCT On 12/02/11, Sara wrote: > On 12/01/11, Dennell wrote: >> I'm currently in school; I want to become a parent educator >> when all is said and done but for right now I've got to get >> through my assignments. This assignment is about how >> teachers work with parents in difficult situations. How do >> teachers resolv...See MoreOn 12/02/11, Sara wrote: > On 12/01/11, Dennell wrote: >> I'm currently in school; I want to become a parent educator >> when all is said and done but for right now I've got to get >> through my assignments. This assignment is about how >> teachers work with parents in difficult situations. How do >> teachers resolve conflict without coming off as know it >> allï¿½s or being bossy/pushy? Some of the things we are >> currently going over in our text are ï¿½I Messagesï¿½ I am >> curious how well that has worked for all of you currently >> working with parent? > I'm not sure what a "parent educator" is.>Are you in school to become a classroom teacher, or are you training to become a paraeducator? Some parents can be very defensive of their children, and automatically believe the child's version of an incident or situation without hearing the other side. When I sit down with a prickly parent, Here's what I do: 1. Listen. 2. Listen. 3. Listen some more, without interrupting to explain or defend yourself, no matter how much you want to, until the parent is finished. 4. Validate the concern. Say, "I can see why you are upset. If my child told me about a problem like this, I'd be upset too." 5. Explain or apologize as needed. This does not mean take blame or agree that the parent is right (unless they are.) Saying, "I'm so sorry that you got that impression" or "I'm sorry your child felt hurt by this." THEN, without being defensive, explain the circumstances. "This is my understanding of what happened," or "This is what your child told me, and this is what the witnesses said..." or "What I actually said was..." Don't run off at the mouth. Don't say more than is necessary. 6. If you messed up (as we all do at times), APOLOGIZE. Nothing disarms an angry person more than that. Saying, "I'm so sorry that your child thought I said..." or "I am so sorry that I hurt your child's feelings. I truly didn't mean to." 7. Make a plan for follow up. "I will talk to your child today and explain." "I will talk with the other child involved and her teacher to make sure she knows that her behavior was unacceptable and cannot happen again. I will also tell your child to let me know immediately if it does happen again so the other child receives a consequence and her parents are notified. I will also call you in two weeks to see how things are going." And then DO IT! 8. After the parent is gone, document the conversation, talk to the principal to let her/him know what has happened so that he/she is forewarned if the parent comes to complain to the office.

Above all, be honest and sincere.

If compliance is what you're looking for from parents, then you > have to charm them and woo them. It's also helpful to explain > to them and in ways they can understand, why you're doing what > you're doing. Giving them reasons is ever helpful. > > If you don't want to seem bossy or pushy, don't be bossy or > pushy. Have you ever in your life won anyone over to seeing > things your way? How did you do that? > > Persuasion, sincerity, offering examples, and reasoning with > people - including the people who are parents - is the way to > get them to comply with your requests. > > It's also the way to resolve conflicts but listening plays a > huge role in that as well. Be a good listener if you want to > resolve conflicts with parents.

Dec 3, 2011

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Charliethecow Sometimes conflicts with parents come from assumptions made on both sides. Sometimes teachers have an idea that the parent doesn't care -the parent doesn't support the school - the parent doesn't listen. Somethings the parents feel that the teacher doesn't listen - the teacher is looking down on them - the teacher is "uppity." Admit it - we've met ...See MoreSometimes conflicts with parents come from assumptions made on both sides. Sometimes teachers have an idea that the parent doesn't care -the parent doesn't support the school - the parent doesn't listen. Somethings the parents feel that the teacher doesn't listen - the teacher is looking down on them - the teacher is "uppity." Admit it - we've met teachers and parents who are like that. Parents or teachers get defensive and nothing will get done because the walls are up.

Whenever I meet with parents, I have to treat the parent as my equal. I have to get to know them. If they are meeting with me, there is a vested interest in that meeting. They are attending for some reason, so there should be positive energy coming my way. I cannot be in the position that I hold all of the cards. I should not do all of the talking. I should not be the one telling the parents what they should be doing. I should not be pointing my finger at them and saying shame on you kind of things.

First, I feel the parent. I always serve food at difficult meetings. I use the pyramid of basic human needs. I treat parents with respect and ask them about themselves. I compliment them on lots of things that are going right. I give the parent the credit for all of those things and ask what wonderful things he/she did to make that happen. I sit and listen. Whatever comes out of that discussion will be useful information for the entire year. Be prepared: it will probably NOT be what you expected. I choose 1-2 things to address about the student, and I ask the parent what I can do to support the student and the family. The parent is in charge, and I can then spin whatever ideas come into what I think will work. The parents leaves knowing they were heard, their ideas were respected, and there are goals in place they agreed upon. Before they leave, I schedule a followup conference for 3-4 weeks later. Difficult parents don't resolve much at first. You have to build a relationship, and that takes time.

You can resolve all of the issues, especially if there is abuse or neglect going on. You have the children in your classroom for a set number of hours each day, and that time is sacred to me. They are MY children at that time, and I do love them that way!

Dec 3, 2011

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