Grades

    Backstabbing Aide
    Dee

    Help-how do I get over this? I am an experienced
    kindergarten teacher. I love my job and work very hard at
    it. I have a wonderful reputation in the town that I work
    in. For the past two years I had an aide in my kindergarten
    classroom. She moved from across the hall to my room
    because my room's position offered full time benefits. I
    knew this woman as we were all part of the kindergarten
    team-at one time, we were a very close team. This woman
    replaced my former aide who left and who I was very close
    to. Long story short- my former aide, C and I are still in
    touch and meet for lunch occasionally. C informed me that
    my new aide had been texting her constantly with a litany
    of complaints about being in my room. I confronted the new
    aide in a very gentle way, trying to discuss any problems
    or issues that she might be feeling. I did not say where my
    info was coming from- but that it had been brought to my
    attention that perhaps there were some things we could work
    out- I was very kind. She denied everything and said she
    loved her job. It was a very uncomfortable year for me last
    year- having her in my classroom and not trusting her.
    There was nothing I could recall that I had done to make
    this woman feel uncomfortable. This year, she was moved
    next door due to program changes- thank goodness- I am so
    relieved. Once again, I just saw my former aide for dinner-
    again we discussed this woman and how much better things
    were going for me. C mentioned again all the negative texts
    she had gotten from her- I drove home feeling quite sad. My
    question- why is C sharing this with me- because she wants
    me to be aware of it?? Why does this person feel OK texting
    C about me- why didn't C shut that down? C still has a
    casual relationship with her. I really love C and don't
    want this to affect our friendship- but I am so tired of
    feeling hurt. I have never done anything intentionally to
    this woman- she is just a back stabber, pure and simple. To
    make matters worse- she is in my colleague's classroom next
    door. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth- you would never
    guess she had said all these things behind my back. I have
    so much unresolved anger towards her- at this point I feel
    like pretending she is invisible and only speaking to her
    if absolutely necessary. Any advice?