Grades

    Re: Backstabbing Aide
    My two cents

    Some people only know how to bond with others through
    negativity. It sounds like the back stabber was trying to
    connect with your friend that way. I wouldn't be too hard
    on your friend. It's always difficult to know what to do, but I
    would hope a friend would share with me. It's better to
    know a snake is there before it bites you. If it comes up
    again, tell your friend it still upsets you.

    I wouldn't be overly friendly with the backstabber, but I
    wouldn't shun her either. If you really want to work towards
    a good relationship with this aide (that's important for some
    people), I always find that if I act like I like someone, I
    generally find myself liking them at least a little better. Find
    a way to connect with her in another sphere. Both have
    second graders? Or engineer husbands? Like scrap
    booking?

    Personally, I would be cordial and not waste any extra time
    on it. It seems like you handled it well.

    11/09/14, Dee wrote:
    > Help-how do I get over this? I am an experienced
    > kindergarten teacher. I love my job and work very hard at
    > it. I have a wonderful reputation in the town that I work
    > in. For the past two years I had an aide in my
    kindergarten
    > classroom. She moved from across the hall to my room
    > because my room's position offered full time benefits. I
    > knew this woman as we were all part of the kindergarten
    > team-at one time, we were a very close team. This
    woman
    > replaced my former aide who left and who I was very
    close
    > to. Long story short- my former aide, C and I are still in
    > touch and meet for lunch occasionally. C informed me
    that
    > my new aide had been texting her constantly with a litany
    > of complaints about being in my room. I confronted the
    new
    > aide in a very gentle way, trying to discuss any problems
    > or issues that she might be feeling. I did not say where
    my
    > info was coming from- but that it had been brought to my
    > attention that perhaps there were some things we could
    work
    > out- I was very kind. She denied everything and said she
    > loved her job. It was a very uncomfortable year for me
    last
    > year- having her in my classroom and not trusting her.
    > There was nothing I could recall that I had done to make
    > this woman feel uncomfortable. This year, she was
    moved
    > next door due to program changes- thank goodness- I
    am so
    > relieved. Once again, I just saw my former aide for
    dinner-
    > again we discussed this woman and how much better
    things
    > were going for me. C mentioned again all the negative
    texts
    > she had gotten from her- I drove home feeling quite sad.
    My
    > question- why is C sharing this with me- because she
    wants
    > me to be aware of it?? Why does this person feel OK
    texting
    > C about me- why didn't C shut that down? C still has a
    > casual relationship with her. I really love C and don't
    > want this to affect our friendship- but I am so tired of
    > feeling hurt. I have never done anything intentionally to
    > this woman- she is just a back stabber, pure and simple.
    To
    > make matters worse- she is in my colleague's classroom
    next
    > door. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth- you would never
    > guess she had said all these things behind my back. I
    have
    > so much unresolved anger towards her- at this point I
    feel
    > like pretending she is invisible and only speaking to her
    > if absolutely necessary. Any advice?