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Childcare Chatboard

Have you, the teacher been bitten?

by Tired of Pre-K

Jan 28, 2009

I had a student bite me after he cried and yelled in the middle of circle time. I told him to go to the table and he bit me.

I told him to never bite me again and his father and my director were informed.

This is the 1st time it has ever happened, but I felt disrespected and I don't care about him being 4. He should know not to bite anyone.

I dont think I am made for this. I may go back to middle school. Pardon my negativity, but at least if I am hurt, they will get suspended.

view previous comments

montmo I was bitten by an older 4 year old boy about three years ago and it wasn't even an anger issue. It was only the second day of school and I had only gently asked him to do or not do something and he leaned over and bit me on the arm. He also scratched me and my assistant. The difference between the boy you described and the one I had was that this ...See MoreI was bitten by an older 4 year old boy about three years ago and it wasn't even an anger issue. It was only the second day of school and I had only gently asked him to do or not do something and he leaned over and bit me on the arm. He also scratched me and my assistant. The difference between the boy you described and the one I had was that this boy thought it was funny. I had never experienced this before in my life and I have been teaching for decades. When I brought this up with his mother, she admits that they had to let his "nanny" go the previous year due to biting - they felt that she had been too lax with him and he started biting, scratching and kicking her! When I asked what consequences he had when he did the things he was doing at school(which she said he did at home) she tells me that they lived far out into the country and they just sent him outside to "work it out of his system". Obviously that was not a solution we could use. When I finally saw the behavior plan he had from his previous school, it had things listed on it like "I will not bite. I will not kick. I will not scratch" etc I was given no warning whatsoever before he had enrolled that he had a "history". He was an only child of parents where Mom was Top Dog and he was basically spoiled from too much nanny time and not much Mom time. I say that because most of his hostility(physical aggression) was directed towards women or the sweet mild tempered little girls, never another boy(another danger sign). It was scarey because he was also a very big boy for his age. I think this parent thought by his being in a new environment and by me being his teacher(which she was adamant about in requesting), his problems would disappear. Instead they escalated. I didn't handle the whole situation well but also being the director, I utilized the clause in the contract of "not adjusting to the program" that he could be asked to leave before the 6 week adjustment period. I could write a book about what this kid did(like pulling out a push pin on the bulletin board and trying to stab his father at arrival, or trying to push a two year old off a slide with her very pregnant mother standing at her side and when my assistant reached out to stop him, he quickly picked up a ball and threw it at the girl). Parents were both professionals and Dad knew the son needed professional help. Mom was in total denial and felt her son was simply being creative (????!!!!!)If I had had time to know what I know now, I would have asked him to leave right away after he bit me the first time, and tell them that until they showed proof of family counselling or whatever, he was not to return until then. Mom was so furious when I asked them to take their son out(I think it was more that she was put into a bind of finding care for him at such short notice)that she wrote me a very hateful and accusing letter blaming me for all the mess. Of course she had to stoop to call to ask us to rewrite the prorated refund for tuition since she lost the check lol)

The other children I have had that bite, but never adults, often either had limited language skills, low patience or had some major thing happen at home(birth of new sibling).

I believe all children deserve a chance to work out these issues, but the parents HAVE to be on board and cooperate with us. If the parent is in denial that the child or family has issues then it just won't change.

I know you feel angry about this, but if a child of this age doesn't get the help he needs to work through this, then it can only get worse. I bet there is a really good chance that something is going on at home. I know one boy I had had for three years suddenly started doing such aggressive things and had a really hard time. The parents claimed they had no idea. Well, when I read the divorce announcement in the paper the next year, I suddenly understood what was going on.

montmo

Jan 29, 2009

Tired of Pre-K She hasn't said anything about protecting us from this type of behavior. I told her about it and she said to document it and tell the parents and that it wouldn't look good if she called to let them know about it also.

If I had a job lined up, when he bit me I would have packed up my things left then.

I'm just going to wait it out...See MoreShe hasn't said anything about protecting us from this type of behavior. I told her about it and she said to document it and tell the parents and that it wouldn't look good if she called to let them know about it also.

If I had a job lined up, when he bit me I would have packed up my things left then.

I'm just going to wait it out until May. Nothing else will help. Talking to his grandparents( they have custody) does nothing. He threw a toy at me and screamed at me today. I'm just sick and tired of blatant disrespect and being expected to take it. My co teacher doesn't have to deal with this yelling and stuff. He doesn't do it to her. Maybe it's because I don't let him get away with rolling in the floor, punching other students and standing on the tables or something. I don't know.

I'm just at the point of where I can't wait til May gets here and I can try to get a teaching job in a public school. At least then if I am abused, verbally and physically, he can get some type of punishment.

On 1/29/09, Schari wrote: > No, I've never been bitten, though have heard from several > teachers that have been. As well as chair throwing, table > turning over, etc. I can't imagine being in a classroom like > that. The poor children that have such anger problems and are > taking it out this way. I hope they can get help. And the > poor teachers that have to live through it. > > How does your director protect teachers from this kind of > behavior? > > On 1/28/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: >> When I said this is the 1st time it has happened, I mean the >> biting. He constantly screams at the top of his lungs when he >> doesn't get his way and falls in the floor or hits and >> scratches other students. He is a constant problem and >> talking with the dad/mom doesn't help. >> >> >> On 1/28/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: >>> I had a student bite me after he cried and yelled in the >>> middle of circle time. I told him to go to the table and he >>> bit me. >>> >>> I told him to never bite me again and his father and my >>> director were informed. >>> >>> This is the 1st time it has ever happened, but I felt >>> disrespected and I don't care about him being 4. He should >>> know not to bite anyone. >>> >>> I dont think I am made for this. I may go back to middle >>> school. Pardon my negativity, but at least if I am hurt, >>> they will get suspended. >>>

Jan 29, 2009

Schari It could be a long 4 months to May. I'm sorry you have this situation.

Since he responds well to the other teacher, is there some way she can be totally in charge of him? Like having him stay right close to her? Even if he throws something at you, she would handle the discipline? (And I would try not to be in his vicinity so that he's not...See MoreIt could be a long 4 months to May. I'm sorry you have this situation.

Since he responds well to the other teacher, is there some way she can be totally in charge of him? Like having him stay right close to her? Even if he throws something at you, she would handle the discipline? (And I would try not to be in his vicinity so that he's not so tempted.)

This is the way I picture this - both teachers meeting with him and telling him his behavior is hurting other people and to protect other peoples safety, he will need to stay by Ms. _____, and choose his play places right beside her? When she moves to a different spot, he will go with her - he sticks right by her. He needs to understand that there are consequneces for his actions, that everybody in the room needs to be safe, and that since he's having a hard time with his self control, you teachers are going to help him keep other people safe.

Maybe after really sticking to something like that for a time, if there are no incidents, he could begin to have some freedom in movement. (This would all be talked over with him so he knew what was happening.)

If he handled his "bigger circle" away from Ms. ______ with no incidents, he could have more freedoms added.

Have you tried anything like this or thought about it?

I just feel bad for you to have such a long time still in the classroom. If you are unhappy or tense, that is going to affect the other children, as well as your work with them.

Just some thouoghts.

On 1/29/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: > She hasn't said anything about protecting us from this type of > behavior. I told her about it and she said to document it and tell > the parents and that it wouldn't look good if she called to let > them know about it also. > > If I had a job lined up, when he bit me I would have packed up my > things left then. > > I'm just going to wait it out until May. Nothing else will help. > Talking to his grandparents( they have custody) does nothing. He > threw a toy at me and screamed at me today. I'm just sick and tired > of blatant disrespect and being expected to take it. My co teacher > doesn't have to deal with this yelling and stuff. He doesn't do it > to her. Maybe it's because I don't let him get away with rolling in > the floor, punching other students and standing on the tables or > something. I don't know. > > I'm just at the point of where I can't wait til May gets here and I > can try to get a teaching job in a public school. At least then if > I am abused, verbally and physically, he can get some type of > punishment. > > > > On 1/29/09, Schari wrote: >> No, I've never been bitten, though have heard from several >> teachers that have been. As well as chair throwing, table >> turning over, etc. I can't imagine being in a classroom like >> that. The poor children that have such anger problems and are >> taking it out this way. I hope they can get help. And the >> poor teachers that have to live through it. >> >> How does your director protect teachers from this kind of >> behavior? >> >> On 1/28/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: >>> When I said this is the 1st time it has happened, I mean the >>> biting. He constantly screams at the top of his lungs when he >>> doesn't get his way and falls in the floor or hits and >>> scratches other students. He is a constant problem and >>> talking with the dad/mom doesn't help. >>> >>> >>> On 1/28/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: >>>> I had a student bite me after he cried and yelled in the >>>> middle of circle time. I told him to go to the table and he >>>> bit me. >>>> >>>> I told him to never bite me again and his father and my >>>> director were informed. >>>> >>>> This is the 1st time it has ever happened, but I felt >>>> disrespected and I don't care about him being 4. He should >>>> know not to bite anyone. >>>> >>>> I dont think I am made for this. I may go back to middle >>>> school. Pardon my negativity, but at least if I am hurt, >>>> they will get suspended. >>>>

Jan 30, 2009

Tired of Pre-K Yeah, sucks to be me.

I am going to ask the other teacher how she feels about an greement like that. It just might work since after the biting incident, he only yelled at me once the rest of the week.

Hopefully that work. I guess I can go ahead and start praying for his Kindergarten teacher.LOL

On 1/30/09, Schari wrote: &...See MoreYeah, sucks to be me.

I am going to ask the other teacher how she feels about an greement like that. It just might work since after the biting incident, he only yelled at me once the rest of the week.

Hopefully that work. I guess I can go ahead and start praying for his Kindergarten teacher.LOL

On 1/30/09, Schari wrote: > It could be a long 4 months to May. I'm sorry you have this > situation. > > Since he responds well to the other teacher, is there some way she > can be totally in charge of him? Like having him stay right close to > her? Even if he throws something at you, she would handle the > discipline? (And I would try not to be in his vicinity so that he's > not so tempted.) > > This is the way I picture this - both teachers meeting with him and > telling him his behavior is hurting other people and to protect other > peoples safety, he will need to stay by Ms. _____, and choose his > play places right beside her? When she moves to a different spot, he > will go with her - he sticks right by her. He needs to understand > that there are consequneces for his actions, that everybody in the > room needs to be safe, and that since he's having a hard time with > his self control, you teachers are going to help him keep other > people safe. > > Maybe after really sticking to something like that for a time, if > there are no incidents, he could begin to have some freedom in > movement. (This would all be talked over with him so he knew what > was happening.) > > If he handled his "bigger circle" away from Ms. ______ with no > incidents, he could have more freedoms added. > > Have you tried anything like this or thought about it? > > I just feel bad for you to have such a long time still in the > classroom. If you are unhappy or tense, that is going to affect the > other children, as well as your work with them. > > Just some thouoghts. > > > On 1/29/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: >> She hasn't said anything about protecting us from this type of >> behavior. I told her about it and she said to document it and tell >> the parents and that it wouldn't look good if she called to let >> them know about it also. >> >> If I had a job lined up, when he bit me I would have packed up my >> things left then. >> >> I'm just going to wait it out until May. Nothing else will help. >> Talking to his grandparents( they have custody) does nothing. He >> threw a toy at me and screamed at me today. I'm just sick and tired >> of blatant disrespect and being expected to take it. My co teacher >> doesn't have to deal with this yelling and stuff. He doesn't do it >> to her. Maybe it's because I don't let him get away with rolling in >> the floor, punching other students and standing on the tables or >> something. I don't know. >> >> I'm just at the point of where I can't wait til May gets here and I >> can try to get a teaching job in a public school. At least then if >> I am abused, verbally and physically, he can get some type of >> punishment. >> >> >> >> On 1/29/09, Schari wrote: >>> No, I've never been bitten, though have heard from several >>> teachers that have been. As well as chair throwing, table >>> turning over, etc. I can't imagine being in a classroom like >>> that. The poor children that have such anger problems and are >>> taking it out this way. I hope they can get help. And the >>> poor teachers that have to live through it. >>> >>> How does your director protect teachers from this kind of >>> behavior? >>> >>> On 1/28/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: >>>> When I said this is the 1st time it has happened, I mean the >>>> biting. He constantly screams at the top of his lungs when he >>>> doesn't get his way and falls in the floor or hits and >>>> scratches other students. He is a constant problem and >>>> talking with the dad/mom doesn't help. >>>> >>>> >>>> On 1/28/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: >>>>> I had a student bite me after he cried and yelled in the >>>>> middle of circle time. I told him to go to the table and he >>>>> bit me. >>>>> >>>>> I told him to never bite me again and his father and my >>>>> director were informed. >>>>> >>>>> This is the 1st time it has ever happened, but I felt >>>>> disrespected and I don't care about him being 4. He should >>>>> know not to bite anyone. >>>>> >>>>> I dont think I am made for this. I may go back to middle >>>>> school. Pardon my negativity, but at least if I am hurt, >>>>> they will get suspended. >>>>>

Feb 1, 2009

Schari raying for his Kinder teacher is probably a great idea. :)

Tomorrow is Monday. A new week. I hope it goes better for you.

On 2/01/09, Tired of Pre-K wrote: > Yeah, sucks to be me. > > I am going to ask the other teacher how she feels about an greement like > that. It just might work since after the biting incident, he ...See More

Feb 1, 2009

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