Naughty Child/Angry Parent

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Childcare Chatboard

Naughty Child/Angry Parent

by Sara

Jul 21, 2010

So, I am employed at a child care facility where I teach 4/5 year old classroom. Today one of the naughtiest children in my class decided to throw a plastic watering can at a child and when told to stop he hit the kid again with the can in the face. He was taken to our director and talked it out. When his mom came to pick him up I told him to tell her what he did today. When he obviously didn't want to tell her I said to her that he decided to hit someone with a watering can and thought it was ok.

When I told her this there was one parent and child leaving the room, and another parent writing a check to leave, including 6 other loud kids in the room. She replied with telling me it was incredibly inappropriate that I talk about her childs behavior infront of other parents. I felt horrible. I wanted to cry.

Was I completely out of line? After thinking about it I could understand if I told the whole class plus parents that she hits her kid, but all I did was say that he...See More

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montmo Sara: There seems to be a lot of issues here that could have been handled differently. As you might have noted in previous posts recently, some of us feel that rather then labeling a child as something like "naughty" we need to look into why his or her behavior is what it is. If you feel this boy is "naughty" what have you and the other adults work...See MoreSara: There seems to be a lot of issues here that could have been handled differently. As you might have noted in previous posts recently, some of us feel that rather then labeling a child as something like "naughty" we need to look into why his or her behavior is what it is. If you feel this boy is "naughty" what have you and the other adults working with him done to help him overcome his issues. Does he hit because he has limited verbal skills? What seems to trigger his outbursts? What have the adults observed in his routine that might prevent him from being successful? Why was he taken out of the room to talk it out? Why was this not addressed in the classroom including all children involved in the incident? If he has a history of hitting, why was an adult not being proactive about stopping the hitting before he did that? There is almost always two sides to a story and it doesn't look like this boy had a chance to express his side of the story.

On 7/21/10, Sara wrote: > So, I am employed at a child care facility where I teach > 4/5 year old classroom. Today one of the naughtiest > children in my class decided to throw a plastic watering > can at a child and when told to stop he hit the kid again > with the can in the face. He was taken to our director and > talked it out.

I think you expected too much from the child to set him up to tell his mother what had happened at school. I can't imagine any child who had hit someone to openly admit this to his mother just because the teacher asked him to. Also, no parent after a long, busy day wants to be greeted by such negative news about her child. If this is an ongoing problem and you honestly feel you have done everything from your end to work with him and the behaviors, then the better approach might have been. "hello, Mrs M, here is Junior and I think he's ready to go home now! Oh,by the way, is it possible to call you tonight and discuss a concern I have? What would be a good time? Great!"

So, yes, you did make a professional error bringing this up in front of other parents. That mother deserves an apology. If she is that angry, I wouldn't be surprised if she calls the supervisor about this. I know I would as a parent.

It sounds like this is a new position for you and perhaps you have not yet had training in early childhood education or experience. Everyone makes mistakes, even those in the biz for years. Chalk it up as a mistake that you made and try to learn from it. I definitely would learn ways to assist these children who have issues and help them rather then just punishing them verbally. I hope it works out for you and the little guy and his mother.

Jul 21, 2010

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Leah There are two brief articles that you may find helpful as you work with this child:

"Helping Children Cope with Anger" and "Guidelines for Educator-Parent Conferences Concerning Angry Children."

A parent conference could help establish a connection with her. Please allow adequate time to really listen to her concerns and to esta...See More

Sep 13, 2010

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