Infants and bonding

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Childcare Chatboard

Infants and bonding

by Justin

Mar 28, 2011

Hello, I work in a child care center. I have been working on my CDA to become an Infant Lead Teacher. There is an infant who is around 9months, who clings to me. His mother said that he doesn't really have any male figure in his life. At this time, we have mostly mobile infants, which is the room I will be in when we enroll more babies. Almost everytime I walk into the room, the baby wants me to pick him up, if someone else picks him up, he continues to cry. But when I pick him up, he stops crying. I love all of the children, but I wanted some tips or any ideas on how to get the baby that I mentioned, to not cry whenever I don't hold him. I haven't been able to go into the room too much, lately, because when I leave he cries and it's not fair to the lead in the room and not fair the him.

Thank you for taking your time to read this. I hope to hear some replies.

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Justin Other staff picks him up when he cries. But he seems to only want me to pick him up when I am in the room. If I sit on the floor with him, then get up he cries again. When he and the other babies do cry, I make sure to check if they are hungry or need to be changed. But when he cries it seems that he just wants to be held for no apparent reason. I'...See More

Mar 28, 2011

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montmo Justin: I just read your post and I have to commend you on your choice of careers. We so much need more men in the field! My brother was a K teacher for many years and was usually the only male role model for the majority of the children in his classrooms. I feel for that little boy who is seeking you out. He seems to recognize "one of his own kind...See MoreJustin: I just read your post and I have to commend you on your choice of careers. We so much need more men in the field! My brother was a K teacher for many years and was usually the only male role model for the majority of the children in his classrooms. I feel for that little boy who is seeking you out. He seems to recognize "one of his own kind" and is showing you that he feels comfort in that. He might also be simply at the stage where he wants something else, but it does seem like the male bonding is more the cause. I see that with my little guys in my multi aged classrooms. They "look up to" to the older boys just like the girls do that with the older girls. I think it is a natural need. When our grandson first entered out life, I noticed the same need to bond with my dh. He loves the girls/women in his life, but grandpa is "top dog". It remains that way to this day.

It could be that when you are in the room all the time, he will no longer feel that you are going to be there and disappear at any time(that might be what he is feeling now) and you will have an opportunity to build that security base for him. Then you can gradually work your way into assisting him in branching out to other aspects of his environment. Some children simply need more of this due to circumstances beyond you and you are simply the one who is left with picking up the pieces or filling in the void.

I have had one of my own children as a student and now all three of my grandchildren in my current program. It is possible to balance the needs of one's own, or those who seem to need it more. It takes time, patience, ability to find that balance and to be able to stand back and let the child work it out with himself when he is ready.

It sounds like to me that the little 9 month old's sense of security is of the upmost importance and that should be the focus. One of the "problems" of day care is that when babies and toddlers need that security of loving care givers, they get too many different ones through the day as shifts change, caregivers quit, get moved to a different room as they "age out".

You can make a big difference in this boy and the others in your care.

Mar 29, 2011

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Justin Thank you. God has given me the heart for working with children. I was actually with the 9month old today, and he did start to cry. So I sat down on the floor with him, and when I wanted to get up, he was starting to cry, so I kind of redirected/distracted him by laughing and acting like I fell, which he apparently thought was funny. And his attent...See More

Mar 29, 2011

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Schari Justin, I'm so glad you are sitting on the floor with your children. Some people don't realize the importance of that position - right down there with them.

The first thing I thought when I read your post was - sit on the floor with him and let him be in your arms as much as he wants to. Little by little he should feel more secure and be a...See More

Mar 30, 2011

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Justin Today actually went much better. When I walked into the room, right away he started to cry so that I would pick him up. But instead of picking him up I sat on the floor. He sat on my lap, but I probably should have just sat on the floor with him. Because I wonder if allowing him to sit on my lap all time, will cause him to begin to cry again when I...See More

Mar 30, 2011

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