Discipline in regards to paraprofessionals

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Classroom Discipline Chatboard

Discipline in regards to paraprofessionals

by Angie K.

Feb 23, 2011

Does anyone have any advice for me in regards to student discipline and paraprofessionals? I teach 4K and have one full time paraprofessional in my room. She is really good, except for a few things. I don't agree with how she "barks" at the students and my biggest pet peeve is when she starts her sentences with, "You need to.....". She likes to be very controlling, and our ways of disciplining are totally different. We have already sat down as a staff and even went as far as to make a list of teacher's aide expectations. We as a staff feel it is very important to all be on the same page when dealing with students. Myself and the other 4K teacher believe in positive disciplining techniques with a quiet, calm voice. I have talked with my paraprofessional on several occasions but she still continues to bark at the students. She is very hard working and sweet in so many other ways, I just don't like how she talks to the students sometimes. When I do bring things up to her she ends up cryin...See More

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Angie K. Thanks, Stephen! And yes, the Serenity Prayer - definitely words to live by for sure... And she is a great person in so many other ways. Things could always be worse! :) I appreciate your input! :)

Angie

On 2/24/11, Stephen Marion wrote: > On 2/23/11, Angie K. wrote: >> Does anyone have any advice for me in regards to s...See MoreThanks, Stephen! And yes, the Serenity Prayer - definitely words to live by for sure... And she is a great person in so many other ways. Things could always be worse! :) I appreciate your input! :)

Angie

On 2/24/11, Stephen Marion wrote: > On 2/23/11, Angie K. wrote: >> Does anyone have any advice for me in regards to student >> discipline and paraprofessionals? I teach 4K and have one >> full time paraprofessional in my room. She is really good, >> except for a few things. I don't agree with how she "barks" >> at the students and my biggest pet peeve is when she starts >> her sentences with, "You need to.....". She likes to be >> very controlling, and our ways of disciplining are totally >> different. We have already sat down as a staff and even >> went as far as to make a list of teacher's aide >> expectations. We as a staff feel it is very important to >> all be on the same page when dealing with students. Myself >> and the other 4K teacher believe in positive disciplining >> techniques with a quiet, calm voice. I have talked with my >> paraprofessional on several occasions but she still >> continues to bark at the students. She is very hard working >> and sweet in so many other ways, I just don't like how she >> talks to the students sometimes. When I do bring things up >> to her she ends up crying. What should I do? > > Learning how to work with a paraprofessional is a very > complicated thing. I have had as many as three > paraprofessionals working in my classroom desigend for SED or > EBD students in past years. Each has their own personality > and ways of dealing with things. Just like teachers they come > in all kinds of personalities and characteristics. It is kind > of like real life. People are different. I know this > difference in adult approach can be difficult, but my > experience has taught me that there are some behaviors even in > adults that you can shape and some that a very deeply > entrenched and very difficult to shape. > There are some (teachers as well as paraprofessionals) > who are "shouters." These folk find it very difficult to > respond to a traumatic experience with a soft low voice. > Perhaps you could work with your students to teach them about > different responses that come from those around them in their > real world. Teach them how to respond/react to these > circumstances. I find a saying that has been around a long > time and has been attributed to different people over the > years. It is known as the Serenity Prayer. It goes something > like this; "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I > cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And > the widsom to know the different." > I know these kind of things are very frustrating, but if > your paraprofessional is doing well in many other areas maybe > you should count your blessings and try to build your program > to work with what you have. > > Hope this helps. > >

Feb 24, 2011

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Angie K. Hi Sara, Her barking is more in response to trying to correct a child's behavior. Sometimes I think she does this unfortunately because she doesn't have a lot of control over things in her own home. She bends over backwards for her family with not a lot of help in return. The classroom is where she feels the most in control. I really don't think sh...See MoreHi Sara, Her barking is more in response to trying to correct a child's behavior. Sometimes I think she does this unfortunately because she doesn't have a lot of control over things in her own home. She bends over backwards for her family with not a lot of help in return. The classroom is where she feels the most in control. I really don't think she know she is "barking", that is just how she talks in certain situations. As far as her crying, she is just a very emotional person. She gets teary eyed when she is very happy about something, and cries when she feels bad. She wears her emotions on her sleeve. I've told her over and over again how much I appreciate what a great job she does, but I think when I talk to her about certain things I may want her to change, she thinks I don't like her personally - which is so far from the truth. She just takes everything right to heart. :( Thanks for your input - I really appreciate your comments! :)

Angie

On 2/24/11, Sara wrote: > On 2/23/11, Angie K. wrote: >> Does anyone have any advice for me in regards to student >> discipline and paraprofessionals? I teach 4K and have one >> full time paraprofessional in my room. She is really good, >> except for a few things. I don't agree with how she "barks" >> at the students and my biggest pet peeve is when she starts >> her sentences with, "You need to.....". She likes to be >> very controlling, and our ways of disciplining are totally >> different. We have already sat down as a staff and even >> went as far as to make a list of teacher's aide >> expectations. We as a staff feel it is very important to >> all be on the same page when dealing with students. Myself >> and the other 4K teacher believe in positive disciplining >> techniques with a quiet, calm voice. I have talked with my >> paraprofessional on several occasions but she still >> continues to bark at the students. She is very hard working >> and sweet in so many other ways, I just don't like how she >> talks to the students sometimes. When I do bring things up >> to her she ends up crying. What should I do? > > > I wouldn't like the 'barking' either and it can undermine > what you're trying to accomplish in your classroom - it > certainly undermines the sense of positive community you're > trying to foster with your students. > > When she barks, it is in moments of surprise? I ask because > I'm trying to understand her pattern of barking. In response > to her discussions with her, has she 'barked' less? At all? > Or is it the same? > > When we're surprised, we can react differently than other > times and when we surprised, we're usually in less control of > our response. If she's still barking when something happens > out of the blue, that's one thing. > > If she's still 'barking' everytime she needs to correct a > child, that's another. With students I develop a quiet > signal - with Johnny for when he calls out, I tap a finger to > my forehead. Only Johnny and I know the signal but it helps > him to regain control of himself and he apologizes for > calling out. Without that finger to the forehead yet, he's > still too 'in' to his calling out when it begins and can't > stop on his own. "Oh, I called out, didn't I, Ms.Smith? I'm > sorry." > > Is she aware of her barking? Sometimes our habits are so > ingrained we're simply not aware that we're doing it. "Is > that barking?" Do I really sound as if I'm barking?" > > Somewhat more extreme would be to have someone quietly > videotape the class one day - ostenibly for another purpose > but then you might 'catch' her on camera and she could see > for herself how she appears when barking. > > Or next time and every time she barks, raise your eyebrows in > feigned surprise - don't lower them in disapproval but raise > them. when she catches the surprise in your eyes, it could > serve as a reminder of the discussions you've had. > > (whyever does she cry?? that's an odd response from an adult > if she is an adult. Does she understand that your discussions > with her are not a threat to her employment? Does she > understand the concept of professional development and > continuous quality improvement? Maybe have a discussion with > the children on the concept of how can we be better tomorrow > than we are today? That none of us should rest on our laurels > but always seek personal and professional improvement. There > is no ceiling on endeavor and there's always something we can > could try to be better at. Encourage your students to > establish a goal for self-improvement in the classroom and > you establish one too and ask your para what her goal will be? > > Mine would be to be more orgazed and reduce the pile of > papers on my desk. Good luck with this.

Feb 24, 2011

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Angie K. Hi Cody, I do continue to give her direction (both myself and the other 4K teacher), and I think she cries sometimes because she feels like we are "ganging" up on her. And it isn't that we are attacking her personally, we just have certain expectations from both our paras. She is very strong-willed about certain things and likes routine. That being...See MoreHi Cody, I do continue to give her direction (both myself and the other 4K teacher), and I think she cries sometimes because she feels like we are "ganging" up on her. And it isn't that we are attacking her personally, we just have certain expectations from both our paras. She is very strong-willed about certain things and likes routine. That being said, I think she may be a bit out of sorts this year also because her routine of 15 years changed when we moved to a different building and she is still trying to get used to it. She is a creature of habit, and did not adjust to this change very well!! I am trying to keep that in mind, and I hope next year will be better for the both of us.....

Angie

On 2/24/11, Cody C. wrote: > Angie- > It sounds like you need a new para. I thought as I read that > you would simply need to continue giving her directions, but > then I read the part about "crying". I would suggest that > the said individual should not be in the position she is in > at all. I think talking with her or maybe modeling the > expectations may help. > > On 2/23/11, Angie K. wrote: >> Does anyone have any advice for me in regards to student >> discipline and paraprofessionals? I teach 4K and have one >> full time paraprofessional in my room. She is really good, >> except for a few things. I don't agree with how she "barks" >> at the students and my biggest pet peeve is when she starts >> her sentences with, "You need to.....". She likes to be >> very controlling, and our ways of disciplining are totally >> different. We have already sat down as a staff and even >> went as far as to make a list of teacher's aide >> expectations. We as a staff feel it is very important to >> all be on the same page when dealing with students. Myself >> and the other 4K teacher believe in positive disciplining >> techniques with a quiet, calm voice. I have talked with my >> paraprofessional on several occasions but she still >> continues to bark at the students. She is very hard working >> and sweet in so many other ways, I just don't like how she >> talks to the students sometimes. When I do bring things up >> to her she ends up crying. What should I do?

Feb 24, 2011

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Steve On 2/24/11, Angie K. wrote: > Hi Sara, Her barking is more in response to trying to correct a > child's behavior. Sometimes I think she does this unfortunately > because she doesn't have a lot of control over things in her own > home. She bends over backwards for her family with not a lot of > help in return. The classroom is where s...See MoreOn 2/24/11, Angie K. wrote: > Hi Sara, Her barking is more in response to trying to correct a > child's behavior. Sometimes I think she does this unfortunately > because she doesn't have a lot of control over things in her own > home. She bends over backwards for her family with not a lot of > help in return. The classroom is where she feels the most in > control. I really don't think she know she is "barking", that > is just how she talks in certain situations.

As someone said, we can't stop what we don't know we're doing. If she doesn't know what barking vs. other tones of voice are and doesn't recognize that in some situations her tone of voice becomes a barking one, then she can't correct or change the behavior.

As far as her > crying, she is just a very emotional person. She gets teary > eyed when she is very happy about something, and cries when she > feels bad. She wears her emotions on her sleeve. I've told her > over and over again how much I appreciate what a great job she > does, but I think when I talk to her about certain things I may > want her to change, she thinks I don't like her personally - > which is so far from the truth. She just takes everything right > to heart. :( Thanks for your input - I really appreciate your > comments! :) > > Angie > > On 2/24/11, Sara wrote: >> On 2/23/11, Angie K. wrote: >>> Does anyone have any advice for me in regards to student >>> discipline and paraprofessionals? I teach 4K and have one >>> full time paraprofessional in my room. She is really good, >>> except for a few things. I don't agree with how she "barks" >>> at the students and my biggest pet peeve is when she starts >>> her sentences with, "You need to.....". She likes to be >>> very controlling, and our ways of disciplining are totally >>> different. We have already sat down as a staff and even >>> went as far as to make a list of teacher's aide >>> expectations. We as a staff feel it is very important to >>> all be on the same page when dealing with students. Myself >>> and the other 4K teacher believe in positive disciplining >>> techniques with a quiet, calm voice. I have talked with my >>> paraprofessional on several occasions but she still >>> continues to bark at the students. She is very hard working >>> and sweet in so many other ways, I just don't like how she >>> talks to the students sometimes. When I do bring things up >>> to her she ends up crying. What should I do? >> >> >> I wouldn't like the 'barking' either and it can undermine >> what you're trying to accomplish in your classroom - it >> certainly undermines the sense of positive community you're >> trying to foster with your students. >> >> When she barks, it is in moments of surprise? I ask because >> I'm trying to understand her pattern of barking. In response >> to her discussions with her, has she 'barked' less? At all? >> Or is it the same? >> >> When we're surprised, we can react differently than other >> times and when we surprised, we're usually in less control of >> our response. If she's still barking when something happens >> out of the blue, that's one thing. >> >> If she's still 'barking' everytime she needs to correct a >> child, that's another. With students I develop a quiet >> signal - with Johnny for when he calls out, I tap a finger to >> my forehead. Only Johnny and I know the signal but it helps >> him to regain control of himself and he apologizes for >> calling out. Without that finger to the forehead yet, he's >> still too 'in' to his calling out when it begins and can't >> stop on his own. "Oh, I called out, didn't I, Ms.Smith? I'm >> sorry." >> >> Is she aware of her barking? Sometimes our habits are so >> ingrained we're simply not aware that we're doing it. "Is >> that barking?" Do I really sound as if I'm barking?" >> >> Somewhat more extreme would be to have someone quietly >> videotape the class one day - ostenibly for another purpose >> but then you might 'catch' her on camera and she could see >> for herself how she appears when barking. >> >> Or next time and every time she barks, raise your eyebrows in >> feigned surprise - don't lower them in disapproval but raise >> them. when she catches the surprise in your eyes, it could >> serve as a reminder of the discussions you've had. >> >> (whyever does she cry?? that's an odd response from an adult >> if she is an adult. Does she understand that your discussions >> with her are not a threat to her employment? Does she >> understand the concept of professional development and >> continuous quality improvement? Maybe have a discussion with >> the children on the concept of how can we be better tomorrow >> than we are today? That none of us should rest on our laurels >> but always seek personal and professional improvement. There >> is no ceiling on endeavor and there's always something we can >> could try to be better at. Encourage your students to >> establish a goal for self-improvement in the classroom and >> you establish one too and ask your para what her goal will be? >> >> Mine would be to be more orgazed and reduce the pile of >> papers on my desk. Good luck with this.

Feb 24, 2011

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Leah I agree with the advice Sara gave. I think quiet signals can be very effective. It can't hurt to try this:

> If she's still 'barking' everytime she needs to correct a > child, that's another. With students I develop a quiet > signal - with Johnny for when he calls out, I tap a finger to > my forehead. Only Johnny and I know th...See More

Mar 7, 2011

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