hardest part of being a mentor

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Mentor Teachers Chatboard

hardest part of being a mentor

by HootOwl

Jun 19, 2011

Being a great classroom teacher does not necessarily mean that I will be a good mentor. It's a very different skill set. What do you find to be the hardest part of being a mentor? What mentoring skills have been the hardest for you to develop?

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novel648 Another hard part - the newbie is 24, thinks she knows everything and doesn't need to ask a 63-year-old for help! I check on her every day or so, ask if she needs anything, and everything is always "fine", but from student gossip, I know that some students are making mincemeat of her. How do you help when she refuses? On 7/22/11, AnneCT wrote: >...See More

Sep 5, 2011

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Zeskaya What could be the possible reasons why a mentee answers "fine" every time a mentor asks if she needs anything? These could be my possible answers: 1. The question is too broad, thus the answer is also a general answer. Maybe if the mentee will be asked specific questions such as how did one of the students do that day then the mentee will have an e...See More

Sep 16, 2011

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Tell her exactly what the students are saying instead of just listening to their gossip about her behind her back and sizing her up according to a bunch of children's expert opinions.

Maybe she doesn't trust you. Don't put it past the kids to say things like, "Well we've told Ms. 63 all about you!" etc., in which case she may feel like you're taking their "side" and thus encouraging t...See Moreinstead of just listening to their gossip about her behind her back and sizing her up according to a bunch of children's expert opinions.

Maybe she doesn't trust you. Don't put it past the kids to say things like, "Well we've told Ms. 63 all about you!" etc., in which case she may feel like you're taking their "side" and thus encouraging the mincemeat. If you know she needs help, sit in on her class and help. Pass out papers, make some copies, point out to the bratty kids that their behavior is unacceptable, walk the worst offenders to the office, BACK HER UP, that sort of thing.

Remember, too, that "not asking for help" is not necessarily a problem. It could mean that she doesn't need as much help as you think she needs, or that she doesn't want YOUR help, or that she's getting help elsewhere, or that she'll ask when she truly has a problem.

Beware of wanting her to ask for help simply because you want to be recognized for your many years of whatever. That would be your problem, not hers.

On 9/05/11, novel648 wrote: > Another hard part - the newbie is 24, thinks she knows everything > and doesn't need to ask a 63-year-old for help! I check on her > every day or so, ask if she needs anything, and everything is > always "fine", but from student gossip, I know that some students > are making mincemeat of her. How do you help when she refuses? > On 7/22/11, AnneCT wrote: >> My biggest problem is when the newbie does not come to me or >> ask questions. As I am a support person, I cannot just barge >> in. Opening dialogue with that teacher can be difficult if >> they are shy, want to be perfect, etc. They may also feel I >> might be evaluative even if I start off by telling them I am >> NOT! I am a resource, a sounding board, a friend to help you >> and nothing more. I make time to listen. >> >> With those really closed people. I do set up a regular meeting >> time so they have to touch base at some point. I also use >> criteria the state will check on as talking points. That helps >> to focus them on their professional obligation at least until >> they are comfortable enough to just let it all hang out. >> >> Good Luck!

Oct 22, 2011

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Declan Flynn On 6/19/11, judy5ca wrote: > The hardest part for me is not telling. There's a lot of > discovery that goes along with being a reflective teacher. > It's much easier to say, "I think you might find..." than "What > do you think you could do about that?" I remind myself that > the person I'm mentoring needs to be guided just like we g...See More

Nov 28, 2011

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Declan Flynn On 10/22/11, Tell her exactly what the students are saying wrote: > instead of just listening to their gossip about her behind her back > and sizing her up according to a bunch of children's expert opinions. > > Maybe she doesn't trust you. Don't put it past the kids to say > things like, "Well we've told Ms. 63 all about you!" etc.,...See MoreOn 10/22/11, Tell her exactly what the students are saying wrote: > instead of just listening to their gossip about her behind her back > and sizing her up according to a bunch of children's expert opinions. > > Maybe she doesn't trust you. Don't put it past the kids to say > things like, "Well we've told Ms. 63 all about you!" etc., in which > case she may feel like you're taking their "side" and thus > encouraging the mincemeat. If you know she needs help, sit in on her > class and help. Pass out papers, make some copies, point out to the > bratty kids that their behavior is unacceptable, walk the worst > offenders to the office, BACK HER UP, that sort of thing.

> I am finding the opposite-both my trainee student teachers come and ask for advice all the time, but I have been in the position in the past where the student wouldn't come near me because he/she thought that they knew better than me > Remember, too, that "not asking for help" is not necessarily a > problem. It could mean that she doesn't need as much help as you > think she needs, or that she doesn't want YOUR help, or that she's > getting help elsewhere, or that she'll ask when she truly has a problem. sometimes knowing when to help is difficult as a mentor. With 1 student this practice i have had to sit in and insist on helping as it was necessary in terms of discipline issues > > Beware of wanting her to ask for help simply because you want to be > recognized for your many years of whatever. That would be your > problem, not hers. i am finding that this is a fine line to tread as a mentor > > > On 9/05/11, novel648 wrote: >> Another hard part - the newbie is 24, thinks she knows everything >> and doesn't need to ask a 63-year-old for help! I check on her >> every day or so, ask if she needs anything, and everything is >> always "fine", but from student gossip, I know that some students >> are making mincemeat of her. How do you help when she refuses? >> On 7/22/11, AnneCT wrote: >>> My biggest problem is when the newbie does not come to me or >>> ask questions. As I am a support person, I cannot just barge >>> in. Opening dialogue with that teacher can be difficult if >>> they are shy, want to be perfect, etc. They may also feel I >>> might be evaluative even if I start off by telling them I am >>> NOT! I am a resource, a sounding board, a friend to help you >>> and nothing more. I make time to listen. >>> >>> With those really closed people. I do set up a regular meeting >>> time so they have to touch base at some point. I also use >>> criteria the state will check on as talking points. That helps >>> to focus them on their professional obligation at least until >>> they are comfortable enough to just let it all hang out. >>> >>> Good Luck!

Nov 28, 2011

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