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Coming Forward With My Personal Story -- A Tragedy -- Part 2

by Samuel_JS

Jan 18, 2013

years ago, i spent a lot of time online (mostly on wrestling forums because i've always been a huge wrestling fan)

and i "met" a lot of immature people from all over the world

i made a lot of enemies from people who didn't like the same wrestlers as me

at some point, i vaguely remember that somebody discovered my real name and identity

i have now discovered that since about 2009, somebody was having fun with me...

they took my name, photo (from fb or google), and location information...

they stole my identity and proceeded to make a whole bunch of twitter accounts by impersonating me

these twitter accounts were endless...

they used different versions of my full name (with all kinds of hyphens and dashes)...

and then proceeded to engage in profanities and vulgarities

i had no idea what was out there, nobody ever brought it to my attention, even the school board wouldn't tell me (they told me to go ...See More

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(3)

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a caring former director Dear Samuel:

I just read your heartbreaking story, and I can relate very easily with your experience. Many years ago, we also had a male teacher in our preschool who is also as amazing as you are in the classroom. We had a parent of a child in that classroom also start a completely false rumor about the teacher out of the blue. She was cal...See MoreDear Samuel:

I just read your heartbreaking story, and I can relate very easily with your experience. Many years ago, we also had a male teacher in our preschool who is also as amazing as you are in the classroom. We had a parent of a child in that classroom also start a completely false rumor about the teacher out of the blue. She was calling other parents and spreading very ugly things about him. The school was not aware of this for weeks until a parent from another classroom came to me to tell me what she was doing. I was in total shock as was the co teacher in the classroom.

I won't go into the details but those unfounded accusations hurt the school dramatically. It wasn't fair to the teacher or the school, but according to the attorney we got for the teacher, all we could do was send a cease and desist letter to that parent. Could he have sued her for defamation of character or slander? Probably. But even if he had won, the damage was done to both him and the reputation of the school.

Over the years I have talked to other school directors who were aware of what our school went through as well as the teacher, who left for another completely different field. One even told me that she deliberately does not hire male teachers anymore in her preschool because she understands how one person could completely destroy a school's impeccable reputation with just one untrue rumor. We work so hard to build up our name in the community and some stupid lady ruins it.

So, I understand completely the hurt, disbelief, anger, - all those feelings you have right now. It isn't fair. It is so frustrating that one does not have the means to fight back. I have a close male relative who taught kindergarten for decades and he also was often the only male teacher in his schools. The moms loved having a male presence in their children's lives. However, it was always a possibility that one person could upend his entire world with just one rumor.

One of our local elementary schools is doing the right thing to help you guys get into the classroom. They are hiring many new Male teachers and are breaking the ice to make it more common for parents to see young children with male teachers. My niece teaches preschool in a center and her new co teacher is a male and she loves his work and how he is with the children.

As I think about your post I had a couple thoughts. One, I would not recommend babysitting the students in your classroom. I believe that is crossing the line between being professional and your personal life. At one school I taught at, an assistant teacher was reprimanded because she gave a student (the child of one of her friend's) a ride home from school. It blurred the lines. If she had been in a wreck, was she representing the school or ? Another teacher I hired one year nannied a couple brothers over the summer and they were in her classroom that fall. Their parents adored her too. She told me she regretted doing the nanny gig because it had changed their relationship from a teacher/student to a personal one.

I am not sure if doing the investigative reporting thing would be a good idea as it could end up being a legal thing with the school bringing their name into it. Maybe the news guy could have his station discuss that with their legal team. The article would be a very good one to remind kids what could happen from their internet use that could follow them to the future.

If you want to stay in the field, then you will have to find a way to clear your name. Get the proof you need and when you apply at new schools (and there will be many as there are a lot of schools who will not hire you for reasons I know you understand)be up front with the school. This is basically identity theft and to fight that is a very long battle. Do you have in writing your evaluations from the school you subbed in and then was teaching in? That would be good to have when interviewing.

I know it seems like the end of your world. You thought you had the dream job, yet now you don't. Life happens. Life is not fair. People can be ugly. People can be sneaky and mean. I wish I had some answers for you, but I do know you need to move on. I would work towards proving identity theft and use that in your job hunting process. You do have my complete understanding about what you are going through. You also have my perspective on what happens on the school's side when an employee gets caught up in anything ugly that can hurt the school's reputation.

We live in a very paranoid country that seems to be ready to believe in guilty before proven innocent. Good luck to you and may you find the peace and happiness you deserve. Your dream as you had it is gone now and you have to find a way to move past this, no matter how unfair it is. This is something that only an attorney can handle successfully, and as you know who can afford $200 an hour? Usually you can get your first hour in for free though to feel out if you have a good case.

Jan 19, 2013

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Etta I'm so sorry this happened to you :( I remember in one of my ECE classes, our teacher warned us that there is so much prejudice against male teachers. It's horrible that we live in a society where if you're a male and work with young children, you're automatically a pedophile. I would definitely pursue legal action in your case. Looking into someon...See MoreI'm so sorry this happened to you :( I remember in one of my ECE classes, our teacher warned us that there is so much prejudice against male teachers. It's horrible that we live in a society where if you're a male and work with young children, you're automatically a pedophile. I would definitely pursue legal action in your case. Looking into someone who will take you on for a free consultation is a good idea. You were let go unfairly and unjustly.

I also agree with not babysitting, nannying, or driving your students. My first year of teaching, I coudldn't see what the problem was. But after the possible repercussions were explained to me nicely by one of my bosses, I totally got it.

I wish you the best of luck in fighting this if you choose to, or getting an even better job in the future.

On 1/18/13, Samuel_JS wrote: > years ago, i spent a lot of time online (mostly on wrestling > forums because i've always been a huge wrestling fan) > > and i "met" a lot of immature people from all over the world > > i made a lot of enemies from people who didn't like the same > wrestlers as me > > at some point, i vaguely remember that somebody discovered > my real name and identity > > i have now discovered that since about 2009, somebody was > having fun with me... > > they took my name, photo (from fb or google), and location > information... > > they stole my identity and proceeded to make a whole bunch > of twitter accounts by impersonating me > > these twitter accounts were endless... > > they used different versions of my full name (with all kinds > of hyphens and dashes)... > > and then proceeded to engage in profanities and vulgarities > > i had no idea what was out there, nobody ever brought it to > my attention, even the school board wouldn't tell me (they > told me to go home and research it) > > well i researched almost 2000 hits > > most of them are not the actual twitter accounts, but time > stamps (historical archives of tweets made) which show up on > google and various other sites > > and they're pretty bad... > > harassing pro-wrestlers and other celebrities > > calling them all kinds of names, wife-beaters, child molestors > > tweets that support jerry sandusky > > tweets that say certain people should die > > the board told me that this information was turned over to > them by someone in the school, and it had all happened very > quickly, and they had to move forward quickly, and they had > already contacted several lawyers to ask them their opinion... > > and the lawyers all concurred that i was a liability... > > by their own admission, parents were threatening to remove > their kids from the school > > that's why so many students were missing that day... > > suddenly, these parents had turned on me, had chosen to > believe the worst (even though they had me there every day > taking care of their precious little ones), and were > actually afraid enough of me to not send their kids to school... > > the board told me that if they kept me and these turned out > to be my twitter accounts, it could shut the school down > > their decision had already been made, and there was nothing > i could do to change it > > it wasn't based on any proof, it was based (by their own > admission) on what if's > > and to this moment, i have no idea which parent started all > of this, and i have no idea how everyone could believe that > i was capable of tweeting such awful things > > for the record, i never even used twitter. i tried it once, > and didn't like it. > > all i know is that word spreads, and by now, almost everyone > probably knows, and i have lost the respect and trust from > so many people > > but there's more... > > the board told me that if i could provide proof to them that > the twitter accounts weren't mine, then they would reconsider > > and they even advised me to see a lawyer > > but that lawyer wants $200 an hour JUST TO START... > > and it would take a great amount of time and effort... > > and most of all, money... which i just don't have > > i have already contacted twitter and those accounts are > slowly getting removed > > but the historical time stamps of those accounts that show > up on google and other sites (without the help of an > attorney) will likely be there forever > > and the damage is already done... > > and i forgot to mention that they rushed me out of the > building on the 2nd, forcing me to pack my things in a > hurry, even cramming and ruining certain things in the boxes... > > and a few kids were across the hall in after-school care... > > and they wouldn't even let me see them (much less say > anything to them) > > they created a human wall to prevent me from going past > > and they told me that if i didn't hurry up, they would have > to use more forceful measures to get me out of there > > when i tried to call them back about the lawyer, they hung > up on me (even though they had said they would talk to me) > > and when my mom returned some things to the school 2 days > later, my boss said HAPPY NEW YEAR to her like nothing had > even happened > > in short, they treated me like garbage... > > and i felt so hurt and so betrayed > > and so dead-ended > > over the course of the next week, i communicated with one of > my former co-workers from there... > > and besides telling me that the kids were holding their > heads down, not smiling, not talking, and looking very upset... > > she also told me other things... > > they had hired a new teacher right away, almost as if they > had her planned all along > > they were instructed that if they saw me on the premises, > not to let me in for any reason > > my picture was immediately taken down and all traces of my > existence were removed from the school and the classroom > > and a locksmith came in and changed all the locks, and the > teachers were given new keys > > even though they had already taken my key > > and a note was sent home to parents telling them that i was > fired (even though it wasn't job-related) > > i didn't eat for a week... > > until my body was actually tingly and i knew that i had to eat > > after a week, i began walking around my neighborhood late at > nite > > analyzing everything, reflecting on everything... > > i lost my co-worker too... she refused to talk to me anymore > > i guess they got to her too... > > my mom still tells me that there could always be 1 or 2 > people who might still not know about it... or they might > refuse to believe it... > > that you have to believe in the good-heartedness of some people > > i care so much about the respect and trust that i have > earned from others > > and i'm devastated knowing that it's definitely gone from > some... > > and wondering to what extent it's gone from others... > > and i miss those kids more than i could possibly describe in > words... > > i wonder what they think of me now, and what they will think > of me as they get older, and if they will completely forget me > > and i miss all of my daily interactions with them... > > and i never got to assess them on the material that i taught > them.... > > so i will never know how well i really taught them... > > the fruits of my labor, so to speak... > > report cards are going out by a totally different teacher > > who is just getting to know them now... > > and they're demonstrating to her what they know... > > that i taught them... > > and she'll know it... > > but i'll never know it... > > and she probably has them doing things in totally different > ways now > > the last thing my co-worker told me was that the students > were telling her that i was "way better" than the new teacher > > but now the school has tried so hard to completely wipe out > my existence... > > so who knows what everyone knows, or where everyone stands, > or if the kids have been coerced into forgetting me > > they even sent a private investigator to my house to tell me > to leave them alone, after i sent my boss a final goodbye email > > and they even accused me of setting up a twitter account in > my boss's name in retaliation! > > there's just one more thing that i want to tell you... > > after i was thrown out of the building on jan 2nd, i was > going around all over the city, hunting down the proper lawyer > > i was coming back home, and i still had all the stuff in my > car... > > and i was passing by the area where my one student lived... > > the one i had just babysat that morning at the school... > > and at his house 5 days earlier... > > his mom had loaned me a movie, and i decided to swing by the > house and return it... > > i didn't even know if they were home, i didn't plan on > seeing them > > i just opened up their screen door and placed the movie > inside, along with a stuffed santa claus that this child had > loved to play with in the classroom > > i decided to give it to him... > > but as i was pulling away in my car, his mom was arriving home > > with her younger son (my student) in the car > > and she had stopped at the corner to wait for her older son > to come home on the school bus > > i slammed on my brakes and went over to her > > it was an awkward moment, because i wasn't prepared for it, > and i didn't know what she knew > > she seemed very surprised to see me there, and even more > surprised to find out that i was gone from the school > > she said nobody had said anything to her when she picked up > her son > > i explained that it was not job-related, and that my boss > herself had admitted that my 4 months there had been perfect > > i told her that i felt so bad that she wanted her son to > have a male teacher, and she didn't know what to say > > both of us were pretty much speechless, and all she could > say was "good luck to you" > > i know in my heart that she had nothing to do with this. > > i could tell on that day. > > it wasn't her. > > i know it. > > her 5-year-old son heard all of our conversation > > and he didn't know what to make of it > > but he did say two things that i will never forget... > > first, he asked for my phone number because he wanted me to > be "reachable" > > and i told him the truth, that his mom had it and she could > call me anytime > > and second... > > when i told him about the santa claus that he would find in > his door... > > he said "now i have something to remember you by." > > his mom was tearing up... > > then the bus came... > > and while she got his older brother... > > i looked at him, gave him a big high-five, and said "i love > you, buddy." > > and then i waved at him goodbye, while he waved back... > > then i walked to my car, got in, drove off, and never looked > back... > > i have no idea if they got to her too... > > i have no idea if she has since turned on me... > > my mom keeps telling me to believe the best in people like > her... > > and the mother of the girl who i talked about earlier (the > one whose ex-boyfriend had abused her)... > > the last thing i heard from my co-worker before she stopped > talking to me... > > she said her daughter didn't want to come to school anymore... > > and she was considering pulling her from the school... > > and i was also told that my vietnamese student has resorted > back to being a mute again... > > my co-worker told me that someone had taken away all of my > blessings... > > and then she went away too... > > that was it... > > i have never been so overcome with grief... > > i have a local news reporter who is interested in publishing > a news story about this... > > this news story might make some people from the school > second-guess themselves. > > i actually was so distraught back in december over the sandy > hook shootings that i posted individual rip messages for all > of the dead kids on my fb page... > > THAT is the real me. > > of course, the parents didn't find the good stuff, only the > bad stuff, and they automatically assumed the worst... > > that those twitter accounts HAD to be mine... > > and now you know exactly what happened to me. > > thank you for your time in reading this. > > samuel

Jan 20, 2013

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Sonia Rodgers On 1/18/13, Samuel_JS wrote: > years ago, i spent a lot of time online (mostly on wrestling > forums because i've always been a huge wrestling fan) > > and i "met" a lot of immature people from all over the world > > i made a lot of enemies from people who didn't like the same > wrestlers as me > > at some point, i vaguel...See MoreOn 1/18/13, Samuel_JS wrote: > years ago, i spent a lot of time online (mostly on wrestling > forums because i've always been a huge wrestling fan) > > and i "met" a lot of immature people from all over the world > > i made a lot of enemies from people who didn't like the same > wrestlers as me > > at some point, i vaguely remember that somebody discovered > my real name and identity > > i have now discovered that since about 2009, somebody was > having fun with me... > > they took my name, photo (from fb or google), and location > information... > > they stole my identity and proceeded to make a whole bunch > of twitter accounts by impersonating me > > these twitter accounts were endless... > > they used different versions of my full name (with all kinds > of hyphens and dashes)... > > and then proceeded to engage in profanities and vulgarities > > i had no idea what was out there, nobody ever brought it to > my attention, even the school board wouldn't tell me (they > told me to go home and research it) > > well i researched almost 2000 hits > > most of them are not the actual twitter accounts, but time > stamps (historical archives of tweets made) which show up on > google and various other sites > > and they're pretty bad... > > harassing pro-wrestlers and other celebrities > > calling them all kinds of names, wife-beaters, child molestors > > tweets that support jerry sandusky > > tweets that say certain people should die > > the board told me that this information was turned over to > them by someone in the school, and it had all happened very > quickly, and they had to move forward quickly, and they had > already contacted several lawyers to ask them their opinion... > > and the lawyers all concurred that i was a liability... > > by their own admission, parents were threatening to remove > their kids from the school > > that's why so many students were missing that day... > > suddenly, these parents had turned on me, had chosen to > believe the worst (even though they had me there every day > taking care of their precious little ones), and were > actually afraid enough of me to not send their kids to school... > > the board told me that if they kept me and these turned out > to be my twitter accounts, it could shut the school down > > their decision had already been made, and there was nothing > i could do to change it > > it wasn't based on any proof, it was based (by their own > admission) on what if's > > and to this moment, i have no idea which parent started all > of this, and i have no idea how everyone could believe that > i was capable of tweeting such awful things > > for the record, i never even used twitter. i tried it once, > and didn't like it. > > all i know is that word spreads, and by now, almost everyone > probably knows, and i have lost the respect and trust from > so many people > > but there's more... > > the board told me that if i could provide proof to them that > the twitter accounts weren't mine, then they would reconsider > > and they even advised me to see a lawyer > > but that lawyer wants $200 an hour JUST TO START... > > and it would take a great amount of time and effort... > > and most of all, money... which i just don't have > > i have already contacted twitter and those accounts are > slowly getting removed > > but the historical time stamps of those accounts that show > up on google and other sites (without the help of an > attorney) will likely be there forever > > and the damage is already done... > > and i forgot to mention that they rushed me out of the > building on the 2nd, forcing me to pack my things in a > hurry, even cramming and ruining certain things in the boxes... > > and a few kids were across the hall in after-school care... > > and they wouldn't even let me see them (much less say > anything to them) > > they created a human wall to prevent me from going past > > and they told me that if i didn't hurry up, they would have > to use more forceful measures to get me out of there > > when i tried to call them back about the lawyer, they hung > up on me (even though they had said they would talk to me) > > and when my mom returned some things to the school 2 days > later, my boss said HAPPY NEW YEAR to her like nothing had > even happened > > in short, they treated me like garbage... > > and i felt so hurt and so betrayed > > and so dead-ended > > over the course of the next week, i communicated with one of > my former co-workers from there... > > and besides telling me that the kids were holding their > heads down, not smiling, not talking, and looking very upset... > > she also told me other things... > > they had hired a new teacher right away, almost as if they > had her planned all along > > they were instructed that if they saw me on the premises, > not to let me in for any reason > > my picture was immediately taken down and all traces of my > existence were removed from the school and the classroom > > and a locksmith came in and changed all the locks, and the > teachers were given new keys > > even though they had already taken my key > > and a note was sent home to parents telling them that i was > fired (even though it wasn't job-related) > > i didn't eat for a week... > > until my body was actually tingly and i knew that i had to eat > > after a week, i began walking around my neighborhood late at > nite > > analyzing everything, reflecting on everything... > > i lost my co-worker too... she refused to talk to me anymore > > i guess they got to her too... > > my mom still tells me that there could always be 1 or 2 > people who might still not know about it... or they might > refuse to believe it... > > that you have to believe in the good-heartedness of some people > > i care so much about the respect and trust that i have > earned from others > > and i'm devastated knowing that it's definitely gone from > some... > > and wondering to what extent it's gone from others... > > and i miss those kids more than i could possibly describe in > words... > > i wonder what they think of me now, and what they will think > of me as they get older, and if they will completely forget me > > and i miss all of my daily interactions with them... > > and i never got to assess them on the material that i taught > them.... > > so i will never know how well i really taught them... > > the fruits of my labor, so to speak... > > report cards are going out by a totally different teacher > > who is just getting to know them now... > > and they're demonstrating to her what they know... > > that i taught them... > > and she'll know it... > > but i'll never know it... > > and she probably has them doing things in totally different > ways now > > the last thing my co-worker told me was that the students > were telling her that i was "way better" than the new teacher > > but now the school has tried so hard to completely wipe out > my existence... > > so who knows what everyone knows, or where everyone stands, > or if the kids have been coerced into forgetting me > > they even sent a private investigator to my house to tell me > to leave them alone, after i sent my boss a final goodbye email > > and they even accused me of setting up a twitter account in > my boss's name in retaliation! > > there's just one more thing that i want to tell you... > > after i was thrown out of the building on jan 2nd, i was > going around all over the city, hunting down the proper lawyer > > i was coming back home, and i still had all the stuff in my > car... > > and i was passing by the area where my one student lived... > > the one i had just babysat that morning at the school... > > and at his house 5 days earlier... > > his mom had loaned me a movie, and i decided to swing by the > house and return it... > > i didn't even know if they were home, i didn't plan on > seeing them > > i just opened up their screen door and placed the movie > inside, along with a stuffed santa claus that this child had > loved to play with in the classroom > > i decided to give it to him... > > but as i was pulling away in my car, his mom was arriving home > > with her younger son (my student) in the car > > and she had stopped at the corner to wait for her older son > to come home on the school bus > > i slammed on my brakes and went over to her > > it was an awkward moment, because i wasn't prepared for it, > and i didn't know what she knew > > she seemed very surprised to see me there, and even more > surprised to find out that i was gone from the school > > she said nobody had said anything to her when she picked up > her son > > i explained that it was not job-related, and that my boss > herself had admitted that my 4 months there had been perfect > > i told her that i felt so bad that she wanted her son to > have a male teacher, and she didn't know what to say > > both of us were pretty much speechless, and all she could > say was "good luck to you" > > i know in my heart that she had nothing to do with this. > > i could tell on that day. > > it wasn't her. > > i know it. > > her 5-year-old son heard all of our conversation > > and he didn't know what to make of it > > but he did say two things that i will never forget... > > first, he asked for my phone number because he wanted me to > be "reachable" > > and i told him the truth, that his mom had it and she could > call me anytime > > and second... > > when i told him about the santa claus that he would find in > his door... > > he said "now i have something to remember you by." > > his mom was tearing up... > > then the bus came... > > and while she got his older brother... > > i looked at him, gave him a big high-five, and said "i love > you, buddy." > > and then i waved at him goodbye, while he waved back... > > then i walked to my car, got in, drove off, and never looked > back... > > i have no idea if they got to her too... > > i have no idea if she has since turned on me... > > my mom keeps telling me to believe the best in people like > her... > > and the mother of the girl who i talked about earlier (the > one whose ex-boyfriend had abused her)... > > the last thing i heard from my co-worker before she stopped > talking to me... > > she said her daughter didn't want to come to school anymore... > > and she was considering pulling her from the school... > > and i was also told that my vietnamese student has resorted > back to being a mute again... > > my co-worker told me that someone had taken away all of my > blessings... > > and then she went away too... > > that was it... > > i have never been so overcome with grief... > > i have a local news reporter who is interested in publishing > a news story about this... > > this news story might make some people from the school > second-guess themselves. > > i actually was so distraught back in december over the sandy > hook shootings that i posted individual rip messages for all > of the dead kids on my fb page... > > THAT is the real me. > > of course, the parents didn't find the good stuff, only the > bad stuff, and they automatically assumed the worst... > > that those twitter accounts HAD to be mine... > > and now you know exactly what happened to me. > > thank you for your time in reading this. > > samuel

Jan 27, 2013

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