I'm so sad, I thought this was my calling

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Primary Elementary Teachers Chatboard

I'm so sad, I thought this was my calling

by ETC

Mar 30, 2009

I just needed some place to vent about my disappointment in myself and see if anyone ever feels this way. I've only been teaching for 5 years and I already feel like I need to stop. I really thought that teaching is what I was meant to do. My first 3 years were awesome. I taught kindergarten and had fun, had great kids, and really made a difference in their lives. I really thought that I was a good teacher. I got a lot of good feedback from colleagues and parents. Ever since I moved to this new school (and got married, both of which might have something to do with the change?), I think I've lost my touch. At my old school I used to do all kinds of extra, fun, creative projects with my kids and now I don't do anything but what is required. Maybe the problem is my new school- I used to have my own assistant and now I share one with 6 other teachers. My assistant is unreliable and messes up just about every task I give her, from sending the yearbooks to the wrong kids, to not even being a...See MoreI just needed some place to vent about my disappointment in myself and see if anyone ever feels this way. I've only been teaching for 5 years and I already feel like I need to stop. I really thought that teaching is what I was meant to do. My first 3 years were awesome. I taught kindergarten and had fun, had great kids, and really made a difference in their lives. I really thought that I was a good teacher. I got a lot of good feedback from colleagues and parents. Ever since I moved to this new school (and got married, both of which might have something to do with the change?), I think I've lost my touch. At my old school I used to do all kinds of extra, fun, creative projects with my kids and now I don't do anything but what is required. Maybe the problem is my new school- I used to have my own assistant and now I share one with 6 other teachers. My assistant is unreliable and messes up just about every task I give her, from sending the yearbooks to the wrong kids, to not even being able to staple booklets together so the pages don't fall out. The climate at school is one that discourages creativity. I've had several ideas for creative, fun learning experiences that have been discouraged by admin, who seems to always want to tweak my ideas to make them less fun and more schoolwork-centered. This year has been the worst and I feel horrible because I love my class. I've moved to 1st grade and the kids are really great kids. But I keep getting complaints from parents this year, everything from their kid not getting their homework assignment to getting upset because the school won't test their kid in a timely manner (I have to fill out about 4 pages of paperwork for each kid below grade level, then come up with 3 weeks of interventions and documentation before I'm even allowed to have a meeting about getting testing done). I don't know if it's my school or me but I just can't seem to make anyone happy anymore. I can't get it all done, or even close to everything. It doesn't seem to matter how earlier I get to school or how late I stay. Something gets missed or the assistant messes up and I don't catch her mistakes in time. I had all these great plans for this year, and haven't done any of them. I started a webpage but never update it, I was going to have the class make a published book and never did it, I was going to have a class book swap and never did that either. I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I'm having a baby in September and I just think I'll do everyone a favor and not come back after he/she is born.

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ETC I don't think it's financially feasible. Well, honestly, I believe that God would provide and our family would make it somehow, because we've been so smart with our money and we've saved it for years. If I stayed home, we'd have to pay for insurance for me and baby, which would cost close to $600 a month. My husband (also a teacher) is very nervous...See MoreI don't think it's financially feasible. Well, honestly, I believe that God would provide and our family would make it somehow, because we've been so smart with our money and we've saved it for years. If I stayed home, we'd have to pay for insurance for me and baby, which would cost close to $600 a month. My husband (also a teacher) is very nervous about the money and I can tell he doesn't want me to stay home. I'm thinking of trying to work at a preschool, where I can bring my baby. Hopefully, a preschool would be less stressful. It would pay a lot less, probably about $15,000 less per year than teaching, but most offer insurance and maybe it would be a happier job.

I really don't think I'm depressed in the medical sense. Other aspects of my life are very fulfilling, like my marriage and the expectation of our little addition. It's just work that's been a drag. The past few weeks have brought on a lot of complaints from parents, and most of their issues I don't feel are my fault, but I still have to take the responsibility. Maybe my husband and I can pull off staying home for one year and then I can teach at a different school. Of course, by then I might be ready to have another baby. We want to have them kind of close together.

On 3/31/09, connie wrote: > I don't think there is anything wrong with you, except perhaps > depression induced by your situation. First, teaching is HUGELY > stressful and I fear it is not getting any better. Your school > sounds more typical rather than harsh. We have to do 6 weeks of > interventions before a referral and there is big push for more > testing and more intervention. The classroom teacher is in the > front lines and most of the pressure is on us. More testing=more > documentation=more interventions=more parental unhappiness=more > stress out kids=more stressed out classroom teachers. > > I really hope that you are able to take off at least a year with > your baby. This is a precious time in life and you will constantly > be torn between your baby and school, unless you have an amazing > mom who is going to come to your house to take care of the baby. > > I hope you pray and think a long time about your decision, but > your overwhelming feelings are not because of you, but it is just > the way things typically are!

Mar 31, 2009

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Janette Honey, I'll tell you what's going on with you.

You're PREGNANT. You're EXHAUSTED. You're working full- time, no doubt much of that on your feet, and you are carrying a bowling ball inside you.

The thing is, with pregnancy, everything comes on so slowly that you don't recognize how different you are, physically, from the same time...See More

Mar 31, 2009

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Tallytchr a baby on way, WHY are you feeling a little overwhelmed? LOL

All kidding aside, my gosh, your poor body and mind must just be spinning from all the changes in a few short years.

It sounds like you still have the calling and are no doubt a wonderful teacher so stop doubting yourself there.

It may be that you need a break f...See More

Apr 3, 2009

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Teach You sound like a great teacher. Be kind to yourself. You've had many changes in your life and your pregnant!

Don't know if this would help but I like Harry K. Wong's book The First Day of School. Maybe it would give you some good ideas and lift your spirits. I've been teaching for over 30 years, got real down, read his book and thought "I...See MoreYou sound like a great teacher. Be kind to yourself. You've had many changes in your life and your pregnant!

Don't know if this would help but I like Harry K. Wong's book The First Day of School. Maybe it would give you some good ideas and lift your spirits. I've been teaching for over 30 years, got real down, read his book and thought "I can do this job!"

Be good to yourself. You sound like a committed, caring teacher. Be sure to put yourself first right now.

On 4/03/09, Tallytchr wrote: > a baby on way, WHY are you feeling a little overwhelmed? LOL > > All kidding aside, my gosh, your poor body and mind must just be > spinning from all the changes in a few short years. > > It sounds like you still have the calling and are no doubt a > wonderful teacher so stop doubting yourself there. > > It may be that you need a break from it right now though to > collect your thoughts and decide the best course for you. > > First, it sounds like you and your new school are a mismatch. The > school may be perfectly fine, you may be a perfectly good > teacher, but not perfect together! There is nothing wrong with > that. Different school cultures fit different needs for teachers. > > This baby in September may be a great opportunity for you to > diplomatically get out of that school and not create hard > feelings (you may need those references down the road). > > If you can take time to stay home for awhile with your baby, I > would strongly suggest you do that. Its sooooooo hard to leave a > baby and it's very tiring in those first few months. > > What I WOULD encourage you to just think of this time as a > breather. You don't have to give up teaching, you just need to > find a better fit for the kind of teacher you are. > > You loved your first three years, you know you are a good > teacher, and you can find that good fit again. Until then, do > something else but get out of this situation that is causing you > such stress...and quit blaming yourself! > > Good luck and congratulations on your baby!

Apr 4, 2009

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Been There Hi. I just wanted to give a little thought ....

I spent 7 years in a building. Then I transferred closer home. I didn't hate the new building but it wasn't the same as the old one that I came to love and enjoy. I knew the teachers and I had fun teaching.

The first year at the new school was difficult. I still loved teaching but y...See More

Apr 5, 2009

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