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Gotta Ask this Question Now Before

by another year presents itself

Dec 27, 2016

Amongst my parents and siblings are 2 people who can barely afford to pay for their own heat and I have chipped in on their medicine more than once. Every time there is gift giving they give elaborate gifts to the rest of us, often things that cost over $100 that are not even something that the recipients could ever use. The rest of us who are far more able to afford expensive gifts prefer to keep it simple, under $20--a nice book, a CD, a kitchen gadget. We have discussed a price limit as a group but these 2 are convinced that love is shown by the amount you spent and insist on wasting their money and making the rest of us feel awful to possess something like a giant clip-on rear view mirror that cost $99 that will never be used or gimmicky thing from own of those edgy over the top gift catalogs. Everyone goes away feeling icky. Those who gave the expensive gifts and only got inexpensive gifts are convinced they are not love. The ones who get the $100+ gadgets really wish the person w...See More

view previous comments

update Discussed this with all involved and all but the 2 agreed to keep it to a limited. The 2 were not happy about the discussion and both asked me afterward why it was my business what they give. I quietly informed them it would not be my business if I were not asked to help pay their basic living expenses in Jan through March. I believe that from now ...See More

Dec 31, 2016

Deb ms/IA You cleared the air and set the limits. Now let them live with it. NO more guilt and no more anger on your part. Let it go! Be happy in the new year.

On 12/31/16, update wrote: > Discussed this with all involved and all but the 2 agreed to > keep it to a limited. The 2 were not happy about the discussion > and both asked me afterw...See More

Dec 31, 2016

Judy2/CA You were honest and open with them. Stick to your guns and
don't feel guilty. You can't control them and are not
responsible for them.

On 12/31/16, Deb ms/IA wrote:
> You cleared the air and set the limits. Now let them live
> with it. NO more guilt and no more anger on your part.
> Let it go! Be happy in the ...See More

Dec 31, 2016

sharing my thoughts with the OP You did great! I applaud you, as I know this was a difficult conversation to have.

The part that I was most impressed with was this: "The 2 were not happy about the discussion and both asked me afterward why it was my business what they give. I quietly informed them it would not be my business if I were not asked to help pay their bas...See More

Jan 1, 2017

OP Thank you so much! > >

Jan 1, 2017

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